Because we’re all adults here right? [I don’t care what y’all say: I AM A GROWN]

And sex is for everyone, who, yannow, wants it AND IS CONSENTING AGE. And because I am an inclusive queen, I mean everyone. Abled and disabled alike.

IN [Black history] fact, did you know that one of sex toys greatest innovators was a Black man who created dildos with the disability community in mind?

Gosnell Duncan was paralyzed when a car fell on top of him while welding. He became involved in the disability rights movement in the late 1960s when he realized that there were many folks living with disabilities struggling to get their rocks off sexual urges met. The felt left out of the sexual revolution taking place all around them. In the early 70s, Duncan went to a seminar on sex and disabilities and left inspired to find a solution to living with disabilities and being able to experience sexual fire and desire [Did you know this is a 7 minute song?].

Dildos had already been invented, but were not accessible for people with disabilities.

The standard dildos available in the 1970’s were made with heat-treated rubber that would melt in the heat. Because of the material used to create them, these dildos often had a strong chemical odour that was off putting to people with scent sensory issues. He had often used silicone parts in his work on automobiles, and thought it would make a great dildo material.

As well as this, the dildos were sold in a pinkish white referred to as “flesh colored” reinforcing white skin as the default and othering anyone who’s skin did not match this tone.

As a disabled man with Caribbean heritage, Duncan knew what needed to be done to make his dildos stand out. By using silicone, Duncan’s toys were now hand washable. This meant that his toys could be used between sexual partners [I… you know what? nevermind]. He created toys for varying needs, including a toy for people with limited hand mobility that could be held with someone’s legs. And in a range of colors, in case your favorite color is blue. I hear people REALLY liked Avatar.

These were all groundbreaking steps that would positively alter the sex toy industry. Duncan’s dildos were also revolutionary for the feminist sexual movement, as his dildos did not always resemble a penis.

In a surprise to ALL of us, history has been largely told through a cis, white, able-bodied lens. And this reality means that you rarely (if ever) see disabilities portrayed in sex toy marketing. Which is unfortunate since the community that had such a positive impact on the sex toy industry has now been largely excluded from sex toy discourse. But now you know the next time you take a BIG OLE SNIFF of your dildo and it doesn’t smell like a tire (a rubber band? a condom? They didn’t say what KIND of rubber) you have Gosnell Duncan to thank for that.

And ME to thank for this fact. You’re welcome.

 

[Please note that this is actually Friday’s fact, but I write these at work and we had a network outage so instead of fighting with my internet to get this fact sent out, I went home. And I don’t work on weekends kids.]

In the time before Uber, I went out with some friends/friends of friends on a Wednesday night for a birthday party because at the time I probably had around $20 in my wallet and I figured I couldn’t do too much damage on a school night with that amount of money. But what I didn’t account for is that these friends of friends would cover me [if you know me at all, you know why this was a mistake. If you DON’T know me, you should never underestimate my ability to procure a free drank], so what I thought was gonna be quick drop in where I had a beer and maybe a shot ended up being several rounds of Irish car bombs (the beverage, although to be fair, I definitely felt like wreckage and devastation the next day) and every variation of a Long Island Ice Tea (Long Beach, Tokyo…’member when you were VERY YOUNG AND STUPID and you mixed liquors? Me neither because if you drink like that you mostly black out).

And then, I stumbled home and slept for 10 minutes [I’m not really sure if it was REALLY 10 minutes or it FELT like 10 minutes] and went to work the next morning. TO BE FAIR, I did regret it deeply and at the end of the workday, I practically DOVE into my bed to make up for staying out all night drinking the day before.

But now I’m an adult (LOLOLOL….I am too you guys) and going out on a Wednesday leaves me V close to the same amount of tired, minus the hangover and smelling like the inside of a Jameson bottle. And this past Wednesday, I went to The Pantages to see a musical. I went to see The Wiz who lives in OZ but has taken up temporary residence in Hollywood. I’ve never seen a staged version of The Wiz IN PERSON. Although Imma be honest and tell y’all that I haven’t seen a version of The Wiz that I didn’t like including the one that aired in 2015.

DID YOU KNOW…that along with other musicals including Purlie (1971) and Raisin (1974), The Wiz was a breakthrough for Broadway, a large-scale big-budget musical featuring an all-Black cast?  It laid the foundation for later African-American hits such as Bubbling Brown Sugar (okay. This isn’t the musical but it is my SOLE reference for this song), Dreamgirls and Duke Ellington’s Sophisticated Ladies.

But there isn’t a foundation without a first. And you know why I’m here. To tell y’all how we got alllll the way to The Wiz’s all Black cast (headed for Broadway) from the FIRST BROADWAY MUSICAL*, which. Was named The Black Crook and I dunno man, Black is RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME, I feel like they missed an opportunity to do something but as always I’m sure the answer is racism  one way or another (it is because this was produced in 1866).

Anyway. The first all-black hit Broadway show, that is ALSO credited with inspiring the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s and ’30s was called Shuffle Along. The show premiered at the 63rd Street Music Hall in 1921, running for 504 performances, a remarkably successful span for that decade. It launched the careers of Josephine Baker, Adelaide Hall, Fredi Washington and Paul Robeson, and was so popular it caused “curtain time traffic jams”.

Shuffle Along is a musical composed by Eubie Blake, with lyrics by Noble Sissle and a book written by the comedy duo Flournoy Miller and Aubrey Lyles. The show’s writers were African-American Vaudeville veterans who first met in 1920 at a NAACP benefit. None had ever written a musical, or even appeared on Broadway, and promoters were skeptical that Black people would like to see themselves reflected in the entertainment they consumed written and produced shows would appeal to Broadway audiences. After finding a small source of funding, Shuffle Along toured New Jersey and Pennsylvania. However, with its limited budget, it was difficult to meet travel and production expenses. Cast members were rarely paid, and were “trapped out of town when the box-office receipts could not cover train fare”.

The plot of Shuffle Along was based on Millers’ and Lyles’s previous play, “The Mayor of Dixie.”, and in Shuffle Along, they incorporated “their well-beloved characters that they had been playing for years in vaudeville”. Breaking with minstrel tradition, the principal characters wore tuxedos, conveying their dignity. In minstrel shows, characters in tuxedos and blackface typically played the “Zip Coon” type, a stock character which mocked black people who were free from slavery. Shuffle Along rejected this image by presenting its characters as community-oriented men seeking to run for mayor of their city. Furthermore, I would like to point out for BLACK PEOPLE in blackface allows them to  a)  access white audiences in the first place, in a medium white people are comfortable with and so can maybe hear/tolerate important, though provocative messages and b) stage a show that is at its core about an election. And we know that electoral and thus political rights are being had long been stripped from women and Black people 1921 was not a safe time to discuss voting rights.  But they are able to talk about the universal rights of all human beings under the “safety” of the ebony paint.

[THIS IS ME “BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL” TO STARE DIRECTLY AT YOU IN 2024 AKA AN ELECTION YEAR]

[This is also a reminder that even if you don’t want to vote for a president, SMALLER ELECTIONS COUNT TOO]

I’d argue that “safety” is relative because Black people were definitely still getting lynched in 1921 and the Emmitt Till Anti-Lynching Bill was finally passed in 2022. I’d ALSO like to say that the actual definition for lynching is to kill someone for an alleged offense with or without a legal trial, so what I’m saying that if you’re any sort of attention to world at large, you’ll note that lynching is still very much legal if you have on a certain outfit. That is generally blue.

Back to my fact. According to Time magazine, Shuffle Along was the first Broadway musical that prominently featured syncopated jazz music, and the first to feature a chorus of professional female dancers. They incorporated music and visual spectacle with the preexisting narrative to create a unique show. While stereotypes were indeed present, Sissle and Blake worked “within a parallel performance form,” replacing “the negative stereotypes with a vastly more positive image.”. In the end, Shuffle Along earned $9 million from its original Broadway production and three touring companies, an unusual sum in its time.

*closes Wikipedia*

And now I’m about to go see if I can find a copy of Shuffle Along to watch because it was on Broadway in 2016 (and was snubbed like WHOA and I wonder why? lolololol….no I don’t) and maybe there’s a bootleg copy so I can see what all the hubbub is about, bub.

Happy Monday! See you the next time I write a fact!

*The Black Crook has cautiously  been identified as the first popular piece that conforms to the modern notion of a musical.

I feel like my sissie maybe might have did some struggling on Monday (I didn’t see no gym story on Monday, boo? Did you make it?) because she was definitely celebrating VERY HARD when I slid out of there because I was tired of being outside.  I can only people for so long, yannow?

Anyway. Congratulations to the winners* My team did not play, but I’m a Cali girl, so my default team was in fact SF: Please translate that to I had zero skin in this game. And yes! I actually DID watch the game this year. It’s been a minute, because I like to get on my soapbox about things. In fact. ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW (Hope you’re prepared for me to say something that is definitely NOT going to be funny) Kaepernick kneeling is A BRIDGE TOO FAR, but spending millions of dollars for religious ads (paid for by such “christian” hate groups like Hobby Lobby) AND THEN showing ads talmbout “stand up to hate” while STILL bombing TF outta…you know what, lemme get back on track making sure that Kaepernick never played Football again FEELS V political.  

But what do I know? All I know is MY HIGHER POWER don’t like ugly, so maybe that’s the reason the 49ers lost.  AND Kaepernick STILL won because he sued TF outta the NFL (as he shoulda) and then his Frat was up on stage with Ursher showing out. NO. This isn’t THE fact, but it is A Fact and I feel confident in saying that this is the first time that a Black Fraternity was doing their thing ON A STAGE AT THE SUPER BOWL. That Fraternity was Kappa Alpha Psi and baybee. I know that shoulder shimmy anywhere.

Also, while I’m talking about the halftime show (and I am because I get to lead into the facts however I want), just when I think the Halftime Show could not get any blacker than Snoop Dogg wearing a whole blue bandana outfit and taking a little *clears throat* walk on the big stage, Usher has roller skates, Stripper Poles (Magic City is an African American Performing Arts Center), Lil Jon, Alicia (beautiful gowns) Keys and an HBCU Marching Band. He really said “ATL, HOE” without saying a word. (I haven’t said it lately, but it’s true every day and in every way: I love us.)

That band, by the way, was the Jackson State University Sonic Boom of the South (I’m assuming you say it as one word like A Pimp Named Slickback). And they are the latest HBCU marching band to play a Super Bowl halftime show.

THE First HBCU to play in a Super Bowl halftime show was Grambling State University, who played along with University of Arizona (a predominately white institution) at the Very First Super Bowl in 1967 (called the AFL-NFL World Championship Game. The name did not become “Super Bowl” until the third game was played in 1969), at the Los Angeles Coliseum. Yes. That (sonic?) boom was the sound of me getting to the point.

That first Super Bowl performance came during a time of much racial tension. Riots broke out in cities like Detroit and Los Angeles. The racism-confronting “In the Heat of the Night” won Best Picture at the Academy Awards that year, and Thurgood Marshall was named the first Black Supreme Court Justice. And here is a Black band from Louisiana where segregation was still much alive and well, performing in front of millions in america (that’s not a typo. The u.s. does not deserve the respect of capitalization).

Super Bowl I launched the Grambling marching band’s legacy. They later starred in commercials, played the Super Bowl four more times and even inspired the 2002 film, “Drumline.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

And there you have it folks! The obligatory Super Bowl BHFOTD. Blackity Black black black. Black Football players, Black QBs, Black Halftime performances. But I’d trade all of it, if the police would stop killing Black people.

* Seriously tho. Do we gotta get some Kansas City Slurs t-shirts before they change their name or? Because I am definitely on board with giving them the Washington Football Team™ treatment until they rebrand.

But SOMETIMES, it’s not just me because I be having stuff to talk about, but then some bunny or some BUNNIES send me music facts and I’m not shame to tell y’all the stereotype remains true with me. I do love me a good music fact. BECAUSE I LOVE MUSIC.  

Except country. And that’s not even completely true. What I mean is that I generally hate country music, but in reality what I mean is that I MOSTLY don’t like a certain type of country music sang by a CERTAIN TYPE OF PEOPLE. I’ll leave you to read between the lines. That are probably white*. But are not cocaine. Yes. I have a song for just about everything. No. I am not sorry). Because ALSO, every time I say I DON’T LIKE something, here comes the exception to the rule making me look foolish.

Because here I was getting ready to talk to y’all about one of my favorite songs that I found out was originally a country song! That song? “You’re the First, the Last, My Everything” by Barry White (a live look at me singing this song tbh) was originally a country song written by Peter Radcliffe (“You’re My First, You’re My Last, My In-Between”). It originally went unrecorded for 21 years, before Barry recorded it as a disco song – while retaining most of the musical structure while rewriting the lyrics.

Not today’s fun fact BUT: You’re the First, the Last, My Everything was a top 10 hit on the US Billboard Hot 100 Singles Chart, reaching number 2. It was kept out of the number one spot by “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” by Elton John, which. I’ll allow because you guys KNOW how much I love SGT PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND music (IDC IDC!)

Anyway. It didn’t win any awards (aside from being certified gold) and ain’t that a shame, but THEN I started thinking about Black people who won country music awards and DID YOU KNOW that in the year 2023 Tracy Chapman is the FIRST Black artist to win Song of the Year at the CMAs? Thirty-five years after Tracy Chapman’s iconic track was first released, the singer-songwriter won Song of the Year at the Country Music Awards for the Luke Combs cover of “Fast Car.”

In March of 2023, Combs released his version of “Fast Car” on his album “Gettin’ Old.” His rendition also proved to be popular throughout the year, topping Billboard’s “Hot Country Songs” chart in September and peaking at the second spot on the “Hot 100” chart. The cover brought Chapman’s original version back onto the charts, making the song eligible for a Song of the Year nomination. Chapman’s CMA Song of the Year win makes her the first Black songwriter of any gender to win the prestigious prize. This milestone feels even more poignant given the legacy of “Fast Car” as an iconic working-class and lesbian anthem. Although Chapman wasn’t present at the CMAs, Song of the Year presenter Sara Evans read a prepared statement from the musician.

LMAO. I’m just kidding. That’s not Sara Evans and that’s not what she actually said: “I’m sorry I couldn’t join you all tonight,” Chapman said. “It’s truly an honor for my song to be newly recognized after 35 years of its debut. Thank you to the CMAs and a special thanks to Luke and all of the fans of ‘Fast Car.’”

(But I’m pretty sure that T-Pain’s comment is probably more accurate that she could say at the CMAs)

And that, my friends, was today’s BHFOTD. Thanks for tuning in to Briya’s Random Thoughts and Facts. With a special shout out to the lovelies who sent me the Tracy Chapman fact AND the T-Pain clip. You the real MVPs. I owe you both a beer. Just one. That you have to share. See you next week babies!

*Except Friends in Low Places and I Want To Talk About Me. I will sing the sh!t outta both of those at top volume because some songs just gotta be sung loud and I am never sorry.

**Unfriendly reminder that country music is ALSO originated with Black people and if the music industry didn’t label everything made by Black people R&B (or in the olden days “race records”), songs like Everybody’s Talking (4 Tops), I Ain’t Gonna Stand For It (Stevie Wonder), Use Me (Bill Withers), You Dropped A Bomb on Me (The Gap Band) and Stuck on You (Lionel Richie from TUSKEGEE, ALABAMA), would be considered COUNTRY AF. Okay. Bye!

Hi Hi Hi!!! Did y’all miss me? Doesn’t matter! Because here I am. On February 1st , as usual. Coming in here with that BS even though I know some of y’all were thinking EVENTUALLY I was gonna give y’all a fact without making it weird. I’m not guys. Weird is what I do. And sometimes Praise. (Gotta get those gospel songs off early)

It’s the First Day of February also known as Black History Month unless you live in Texas, or Florida or some other [flagrantly] racist state (if your racism isn’t from The South™ it’s just sparkling Concern That A Black Person is Where *I* Don’t Think A Black Person Should Be)

Welcome back guys! I can’t promise that you’re gonna get these daily because also per usual, EVERY YEAR I say Imma plan better, but I don’t because I’m terrible at planning AND my co-worker quit so I’m currently doing part of her job along with mine and IT’S FINE, but it definitely means that I’m busier than I’d normally be. And these are free, so take up any complaints with scheduling with Jesus. Not me.

ANYWAY. Lest someone think I’m being sassy (I am)…How y’all doing? Everything good? Everybody wig on straight, still got your edges? I know these questions may seem irrelevant, but y’all. The year just started and there’s so much beef that Imma be full for weeks:

Black comics are fighting!

The (rap) girls are fighting!

Even the white people got issues (Britney Spears’s Selfish vs. Timberlake’s Selfish and I don’t have a dog in that fight aside from the fact that it’s F JT in this house forever, so I’m never going to be on his side for ANYTHING AND Taylor Swift her football BF got er’body’s knickers in a knot and honestly, Why? – this is rhetorical and I do not care. All I’m saying is er’body mad AND pointing out that for a change white people are mad at other white people and are leaving the rest of us alone)

Except me. I am not mad. I’m Living My Best Life™ and I’m not going back and forth with you NAYSAYERS.

In fact, speaking of everybody being mad, AND it being the first of the month, AND me liking to kick off the 1st with a first, AND me watching that We are the World documentary* AND Lionel Richie saying that this person gave him the idea to create whole shebang, let’s talk about sex, baby Sidney Poitier!

And by let’s talk about Sidney Poitier, I mean: Let’s talk about the movie In the Heat of the Night (1967), and him being the first Black person to slap a white person on the silver screen.

In the scene, Virgil Tibbs/MISTER TIBBS (Poitier) is questioning a white man named Endicott. Endicott who gets mad that a Black man has the nerve to treat him like a *cough* SUSPECT, slaps him. AND THEN, Tibbs slaps him back!

“That simple act of retaliation would prove historic,” writes journalist Steve Ryfle. It was “the first known act of physical defiance in a studio film by an African American character that did not result in punishment or death.” And it was fitting that the actor who would make that history was Poitier. The scene marked a turning point for film-making in general, Ryfle argues. It “brought the first wave of black directors, new interest in black stories, and, most significantly, ​the ascendance of black screen heroes.”

Before he took on the role of Tibbs, Poitier’s was often cast in roles that critics saw as “honed to mollify white audiences.” But with this role  He “shattered the old stereotypes and demanded to be accepted and respected as a serious, straightforward actor whose status equaled that of his white counterparts.” In the Heat of the Night gave him an opportunity to show America something different. In fact, when he took this role, he said “I’ll make this movie for you if you give me your absolute guarantee when he slaps me I slap him right back and you guarantee that it will play in every version of this movie.” Poitier goes on to say that this was not designed to be a big social comment, it was designed on the basis of a man’s humanity (“Slap me and I’ll slap you back” – Digital Underground)

It DEFINITELY WAS a big social comment though, as this was 1967 and even while filming this movie once (white) people found out a Black man was staying at the Holiday Inn (which. Was the only hotel that didn’t have a Whites Only sign out front), the director had to hire security for Poitier’s floor to keep him safe. Poitier’s response: “I got a gun under my pillow and I’m going to blow away the first guy who comes through that door.” (Whew chile, you ain’t gotta GET ready if you STAY ready)

The Director, Norman Jewison, said he will always remember Black viewers’ reaction to the scene during one particular screening. “I’ll never forget when the film was shown to a Black audience in New York, the only time I saw it with a Black audience and they cheered.” Poitier said that sometimes he’d sneak into showings of the movie and he could always tell if theatergoers where white or black based on the reactions to that scene. (I feel like either way, he loved it)

The film opened at the Capitol Theatre and at the 86th Street East theatre in New York City on Wednesday, August 2, 1967, grossing $108,107 in its first five days. And by January 1971, the film had earned $11 million in box office rentals. So, I’m guessing Poitier wasn’t the only person who loved it.

Anyway. Poitier went on to have way more Firsts, but this one is DEFINITELY my favorite!

Hope you enjoyed the First BHFOTD kids! Stay tuned to see what other random facts Imma pull outta my ass NOW with an extra day for leap year! Wooo!

And by sick,  I mean I was sick of pretending like I didn’t need a day off to turn my brain off because honestly 2 days of weekend is just not enough when you consider that one of those days I usually spend doing house stuff like cleaning and laundry and getting ready for the next week ahead.  And because it’s spooky season, I spent the entire day watching AHS: Coven. Because of course I did. It’s Halloween time! And it’s eclipse season! There were two this month! There was a SOLAR eclipse on 10/14 and a LUNAR eclipse on 10/28 (alas, there was no  total eclipse of the heart but I guess we got one more day of October, and I don’t know your life, so IT IS STILL POSSIBLE)

And yes. Talk about eclipses is both appropriate for today’s BHFOTD and Spooky Szn. While I am NOT going to get into my personal philosophy on eclipses (IYKYK), WHAT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU is that Nate Turner believed that a solar eclipse was the sign to revolt said Lets F*cking GOOOOO. SO on August 21, 1831 Nat Turner launched one of the most historic deadly revolts to end enslavement in Southampton County, Virginia.

**Jumping ALLLL the way ahead to save us all some time**

Turner was sold to enslaver Joseph Travis in 1830. Less than a year after the sale, Turner received what he assumed was a sign from God when he witnessed the eclipse of the sun. After sharing this experience with a few close friends, they began to plan an insurrection. While still planning the uprising, Turner saw that the color of the sun had changed to a bluish-green, which he believed was the final sign to initiate the uprising. With this confidence, Turner and seven other enslaved people moved forward with their plans. Over the course of a day in Southampton County, Turner and his allies killed fifty-five white men, women, and children as they made their way toward Jerusalem* (now Courtland).

Less than 24 hours later, Turner et al encountered organized resistance and were defeated at James Parker’s farm. The next day, a series of defeats led to the effective end of the revolt.  White people quickly and brutally reasserted their control over Southampton County, killing roughly three dozen Black people without trials. Within a few days of the revolt, white leaders in Southampton became increasingly confident that the revolt had been suppressed and worked to limit the extralegal killing of Black people all willy nilly. They also made sure that the remaining suspected rebels were tried, which meant that the white enslavers would receive compensation from the state for “destroyed property” condemned enslaved people.

Nat Turner evaded capture until October 30, when he was caught in the immediate vicinity, having used several hiding places over 9½ weeks. Nat Turner was hanged and skinned in Jerusalem, VA (“He was skinned to supply such souvenirs as purses, his flesh made into grease, and his bones divided as trophies to be handed down as heirlooms.” – John W. Cromwell, “The Aftermath of Nat Turner’s Insurrection,” 1920) on November 11, 1831.

In the end, 57 blacks were executed by the state and approximately 200 random black people (who were probably minding their business which, was being enslaved and being trapped on land they weren’t allowed to leave. ahem) were killed by gangs of whites and militias. Nat Turner’s revolt not only resulted in the deaths of many but also a tightening and creation of new laws to even further restrict the liberty of blacks. *squints*

As always, any parallels to current events are out of my jurisdiction as a disseminator and distributor of HISTORY. Which happens in the past. Does the present sometimes LOOK like the past? Do most countries look to the united states oppression of Black and Indigenous folks as a playbook when they start gettin’ to oppressin’? Does a bear shit in the woods? Who are me to say? Anyway. That ends TODAY IN BLACK HISTORY-RY-ry Facts.

ONE LAST THING.

*Virginiaplacesdotorg and wikipediadotcom both suggest that Jerusalem, VA changed its name to Courtland because shopkeepers would refer to the folks who rode the train in to Norfolk as “those Arabs from Jerusalem” and… well. I read it, so you have to, too.

ALSO.

I don’t normally look up facts that are easily accessible like this one but I dunno, man. This seemed like a good day to remind people rebelling against oppression is never polite because if it were Jerusalem would still be inhabited by Cheroenhaka (Nottoway), and Meherrin tribes and not the white people who in 1830 (through the Indian Removal Act), forced many indigenous people east of the Mississippi so they could steal their land. ( Whew. I… So, anybody see any good movies or something recently?)

I do! One of my oldest friends (oldest) baby love is getting hitched! And I’m goin’ down to North Carolina (I’ve already told someone that I’m specifically bringing a white tee to spin over my head so not sorry in advance)

AND

Issa two-fer. Her (oldest) baby is having a baby! So I am ALSO going to a baby shower! I am very excited seeing all my friends become grannies. HOT ASS GRANDMAS to be sure, but grandmas nonetheless. (But not me! I remain a favorite auntie, hallelu!)

Occasionally I drop the veil at work and I was talking to one of the researchers about going to a baby shower and a wedding all in one weekend and she’s from Miami and y’all. She told me that in Miami the men usually go to the baby showers but also they have DANCERS?!

We had a whole ass conversation about it because girl, what? I’m pregnant and you bringing a flat bellied, big booty bitch (this is a compliment, but STILL) clacking her heels and I can’t even see my FEET?! AND the baby shower is all night?! Because the show don’t start until like 10pm after the parents leave and stuff? I just…no. I’m pregnant. I’m tired. Also? I’m from California. We close. We go to bed here. I’m day party age. I want to be home by 8 pm (those of you who are fixing to bring festivals into this, SHUT YOUR HOLES. That doesn’t count.)

She was like, GIRL, you gotta go at least once and THAT, my friends, is the sound of me getting to the point. Because did you know that in 2023, the Florida NAACP called for Travel Advisory to Florida in response to the African American Studies ban? They’re urging the Black Community to avoid visiting or moving to the state of Florida.

They said y’all not gonna pretend y’all wasn’t mistreating Black Folks. Black history is American History. Or: ” There is no ‘feel-good’ version of the horrors and inequalities Black Americans have faced and continue to face. Slavery, Jim Crow and lynchings followed by school segregation, mass incarceration, police brutality houring discrimination, health care disparities, and wage gap are all tough truths to face.” (DAMN. He was not playing with these people AT ALL)

Anyway. Listen. I KNOW. TECHNICALLY this isn’t really a HISTORY fact because it just happened except it is because The Green Book was a thing in these here United States from 1936-1966 and THAT was 57 years ago (and when you think about that’s only 7 years before I was born so not that long ago and fuck y’all for saying that WAS a long ass time ago – you know who you are) but that still counts as HISTORY that in typical (white) US fashion we just KEEP FUCKING REPEATING THE SAME OLD SHIT.

Whew. So anyway. Hope y’all weekend is great. Ummm..I’ll be posting pictures of my weekend because I’m gonna be hanging out with my aces (and the dress I’m wearing to the wedding is fie…no that’s not a typo iykyk). Hope you’re not planning to go to Florida.

And yet here I am again. Talking about music. BUT. If it helps, it’s today’s Superbowl gimme! I *did* watch the game. And the half-time show. And all I have to say about THAT is that I could never. Never ever, never ever, ever ever, get on her level. (I’m taking liberties, but I think you get the point)

ANYWAY also not the point!

The point is that Sheryl Lee Ralph (the original Dreamgirl) sang the Black National Anthem which was performed for the first time on a Super Bowl game field. It was pre-recorded broadcast by Alicia (“No, God, I am a soprano”) Keys in 2021 and Mary Mary sang it OUTSIDE of the Super Bowl Stadium last year and wow, looks like we in the mfing the house** you guys! ALSO, it was the anniversary of the very first time it was publicly performed 123 years ago, February 12, 1900!

AND that some [white] people were BIG MAD which is WILD when you consider that a person* who should honestly be out of a job, but isn’t because whiteness is a hell of a drug but also I’m not trying to get caught up by an alphabet agency so do your own due diligence if you really want to know who said it, really got on the internet and tweeted “Why is the NFL trying to divide us by playing multiple anthems?” And I just— wanna talk to her. Really.

I just have so many things to ask:

Did you know that Lift Every Voice and Sing was originally a poem written by James Weldon Johnson, Phi Beta Sigma man? “Lift Every Voice and Sing” was first recited by a group of 500 students in 1900. His brother J. Rosamond Johnson would later set the poem to music. And in 1919, the NAACP dubbed it the Black National Anthem.

And that the Star Spangled Banner was made the official national anthem of the united states in 1931? (So it seems like maybe Black Folks been singing ‘bout freedom long before the US was lying about this being the land of the free and home of the brave)

And really the last thing I want to know is if she knows what the five fingers said to the face?

*person – a human being regarded as an individual. She very loosely fits the description

**also, another ye song reference I cannot use and GD him for ruining his music for me

***also I watched the game from the comfort of my own house because even though I am On The Mend™, I still didn’t want to be around people filling rooms with negativity because also hurray a team won, but when are the KC Chiefs gonna change their name AND their racist chant?

I haven’t been watching (and not because I don’t love it because I DO, but also do we talk enough about how football is SUPER RACIST to the point of not paying black football players for concussion claims because they claimed they were already cognitively dysfunctional [translation: brain injuries didn’t matter ‘cause they were already dumb af] , or Jerry Jones, the current owner of the Dallas Cowboys, was caught in 4K protesting segregation back in HIS DAY which kinda also brings to the forefront that the US’s horrible past is not quite as far away as [white] people like to pretend it is, all while still beefing that kneeling for the national anthem – which is also wildly racist – is disrespectful), but IT IS SUPER BOWL TIME and there’s always some black history facts to be had because even though black people make up half of the NFL, every year there is some random First Black Person To Do A Football Thing. The first Black person to play in the NFL was 1920! That’s just a little bit over 100 years ago*! You mean to tell me that in the 103 years Black People have been playing football, there is still a first to be had? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!

I think y’all know the answer.

Racists work hard to keep Black people out, but Black people CLEARLY work harder. [We outchea!]

Anyway. That’s not what this post is about! (LOLOLOL)

These posts are just a collection of random thoughts I have while I’m writing about stuff that Black People Are Doing™ during the shortest month of the entire year that we have been allotted to show off our accomplishments before I get to the point of today’s Black History Fact of the Day. And today, I don’t have just ONE fact, today’s going to be a lightning round, the Quarterback edition!

Martin Briscoe – First Black starting QB in modern football (1968)

Doug Williams – First Black QB to be drafted in the first round (1978), to start and win a SB (1988)

Cam Newton – First Black QB to be named MVP, #1 overall draft pick (2011)

Patrick Mahomes – First Professional Athlete (Black/White/Whatever) to have a half a billion dollar contract

Patrick Mahomes AND Jalen Hurts – First Time Black Quarterbacks meet in the Super Bowl (2023)

And there you have it folks! Some facts for BEFORE the Super Bowl even starts. Will there will be more history happening during the big event? Stay tuned on the next Dragonball Z!

*But to keep it a buck, after the first Black football player it took 26 more years before they signed another Black player AND they only did it because “y’all better integrate or GTFO of our stadium”  

Not funny “haha!”, but funny “WEIRD” how it feels like history just…repeats itself?

Like, every year I say to myself I will be more prepared, or how Texas tried (and failed) to secede, or how some states are banning books (Did you know the most banned book for all time was 1984? HAHAHAHAHAHA *cough*)

And now, we’re banning…teaching Black History? I….okay. I’m not really sure how you can BAN history since yannow, it HAPPENED and people who lived in it, are STILL ALIVE. But also? I’m not really here to discuss CURRENT EVENTS because HISTORY is what I do (and I guess sometimes praise, since I just told ya’ll I listen to gospel while I clean).

So! Let’s talk about what John Berry Meachum in Missouri did when it was illegal to provide “instruction of negroes and mulattoes (also know as them mixed race chirren), in reading or writing”. HE bought a steamboat which he anchored in the middle of the Mississippi River, which made placed it under the authority of the federal government. This floating “Freedom School” had students that were ferried back and forth between St. Louis and the Freedom School in small skiffs, even attracting teachers from the East. Hundreds of Black children were educated in the 1840’s and ‘50’s. One of those kids was James Milton Turner, who would go on to establish 30 new schools for African Americans after the Civil War.

Not that I’m saying that some of these states are trying to make teaching Black people illegal again (right now, anyway), but I AM saying that Florida is the cruise capital of the world, so they’ve already GOT BOATS. If you know, teachers in Florida were interested in how to teach Black History without getting arrested.