I was dropping Nesto off to the airport the other day and he tells me this story about how he almost got jumped by undercover security once while he was waiting for me to pick him up at the airport.
He’s like, yeah so this dude walked up on me and was like, “are you traveling alone?” and since he didn’t know him, he ignored him.
And then another dude came outta nowhere and walked up on them
Nesto: “Is he with you?”
Dude: Yeah, we just wanna ask you some questions.

He interjects his story to say to me: Pro tip- If you’re ever find yourself in a position where you’re about to get jumped, take it to the street,
because then everybody can’t just pile on; they have to worry about getting hit by cars.

So when he stepped in the street the guy was like, HEYYY… we just want to talk to you.
And Nesto was like I DO NOT KNOW YOU SO FUCK OFF
Now there’s like 5 or 6 dudes coming toward him, and of course the airport people are starting to gather to watch ‘cause WTH?
THEN the security dude takes out his badge ’cause he sees that Nesto is not backing down.

They ask Nesto for ID and he provides his military ID and they apologize for getting him all riled up
Nesto tells the guy ”I was for real getting ready to take out at least 2 or 3 of your people before I went down.”
(Another pro tip from the husband: Stand with your legs spread so they can’t just take you out at the knees. Thanks, honey!)

I LOVE when Nesto randomly tells me horrifying stories like this, and then acts like he already told me.
(No. No, I don’t)

Cut to me on my way to work Wednesday morning.

I park on a side street and walk over to where I need to cross and some dude is standing at the light.
Him: *looks me over* I’m gonna cross the street
Me: Congratulations.
Weirdo: You may as well just arrest me

(It’s just me and some random woman waiting to cross the street)
Me: *looks around*….? WHAT? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Then the light turns green, so I start walking ’cause FUCK THIS.

He starts crossing the street and I’m walking super-fast ’cause NOPE.
(I *can* walk fast if the situation calls for it, guys)
THEN he starts to RUN UP BEHIND ME
and I turn around and square up because IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THIS SHIT
He rushes past me, says EXCUSE ME and keeps moving.
And all I can think is HOW APPROPRIATE Nesto gives me this advice right before I ended up almost fighting some stranger in the street.