There are wonderful things about living in a house with no kids after living in a house with kids your whole married life.
Most of those things include sex. (Sorry, guys. I’m not sorry)
But they also include things like eating cheese and crackers in bed. Which I do. A lot.
Which I also bitched out both of my kids for doing.
And also having ice cream for breakfast.
Because you’re at war with your husband because FUCK YOU, I don’t always feel like cooking.
Or yannow. Not cooking. Because FUCK THIS, that’s why.
But here’s the thing:
It’s hard to cook for 2 people when you’re used to cooking for 4.
Going out to eat is expensive.
(Related: Did y’all know I have a kid in college? She is also expensive. At least paying for her is not gonna make me gain weight)
(which going out to eat is doing because WTF would I go out and order a salad? Also: I hate lettuce. I don’t care if that sounds weird to you)
Anyways. Recently, I told The Man that we’re gonna eat better.
(and that he’s gonna workout with me. But that’s another story)
AND AS IT HAPPENS, I did this fancy Freasy walk through.
It’s FreshER! And Easy-ER(easier, guys. EASI-ER. *cough*)
So I gotta tell y’all. I was impressed.
I like convenience. If I have to eat and/or cook for other people, I prefer not having to do too much work.
Otherwise, back to cheese and crackers.
Healthy food! Snacks! Food for two!
I pack lunches.
And two snacks. Because I’m at work a long fucking time.
And I don’t eat a lot but I do eat often.
So it’s good they have options for snacking.
Fruit, meaty cheesy snacks. And deez nuts.
(for your mouth. Not mine. Because I also hate nuts)
(also that’s A LOT OF NUTS)
(that’s what she said)
They even have breakfast things now.
Which is fantastic. Because after taco Tuesday, is I’m slightly tired Wednesday.
And there’s a fresh & easy express on my way to work.
So when I wait til the last minute to leave the house I can run through
and throw some stuff into my lunch bag!
And apparently the freshest eggs this side of a farm.
You know that joke: What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Turns out, Freasy agrees.
I can never resist a dirty joke.
Also: happy shopping guys! I think I’m in love with this place.
Yeah I said it 