Archives for the month of: February, 2015

Because it’s flat on one side
(That’s right, random songs because WHY NOT!)
Briya here! So this time *I* am not the one still talkin’ about the Oscars. My Sissie is. So please to enjoy Nisha’s contribution to Let’s Talk About Black People Month.

They say that people don’t move when they see smoke, but when they feel the fire. So, Bri gets her wish and you get your BHFOTD. (FINALLY. JAYSUS – B.)

I was so enraged over the recent ignorant statements of E Online correspondent/Fashion Police host(/Lollipop looking*) Giuliana Rancic that I was motivated to write about it.
This is 18 year old Disney Star Zendaya. Apparently she smells like patchouli and weed.
Zendaya could not have handled the situation more eloquently for a young lady. In case you haven’t noticed, many Black women are choosing to go natural.
Unfortunately, what comes with the territory also includes stereotyping and judgments by our white counterparts.
Unless of course, THEY appropriate styles normally seen on people of color. Then it’s BOLD. And Epic. And Epically Bold.KJ Braids

On black folks, it’s ghetto. OH.

In the 1960s, natural Black hair was transformed from a simple expression of style into a revolutionary political statement. It became a fundamental tool of the Black movement in America, and hair came to symbolize either a continued move toward integration in the American political system or a growing cry for Black power and nationalism.” Prior to this, the idealized Black person (especially Black women) “had many Eurocentric features, including hairstyles.” However, during the movement, the Black community endeavoured to define their own ideals and beauty standards and hair became a central icon which was “promoted as a way of challenging mainstream standards regarding hair.” During this time, black hair “was at its height of politicization,” and wearing an Afro was an easily distinguishable physical expression of black pride and the rejection of societal norms.[

Black militants and members belonging to the movement perpetuated the idea that straightening one’s hair, whether chemically or with the use of heat, was an act of self-hatred and a sign of internalized oppression imposed by White mainstream media. At this time, a Black person’s “ability to conform to mainstream standards of beauty [was] tied to being successful.” Thus, rejecting straightened hair symbolized a deeper act of rejecting the belief that straightening hair and other forms of grooming which were deemed ‘socially acceptable’ were the only means of looking presentable and attaining success in society. The pressing comb and chemical straighteners became stigmatized within the community as symbols of oppression and imposed White beauty ideals. Blacks sought to embrace beauty and affirm and accept their natural physical traits. The ultimate goals of the Black movement was to evolve to a level where Black people “were proud of black skin and kinky or nappy hair. As a result, natural hair became a symbol of that pride.

Deja vu anyone??
*My sissie would NEVER call Giuliana a lollipop (Big ol’ head, stick body). I would. Because I am petty.

You’re welcome guys! LOLOLOL

So I…totally got distracted yesterday.
‘Cause yannow. WORK. I have a pretty awesome job.
But they do NOT care about black people my duties as BHFOTD AMBASSADOR.
I’m kidding, of course.
They do. They make each and every one of us come to work so they can have a Black History Presentation on MLK, Jr. Day.
That I never go to. Because if you want ME to celebrate being black, give me the day off. I’m just sayin’.

As usual, yesterday’s post woulda been about the Academy Awards. Because OF COURSE IT WOULD.
After all, I watched. In fact, as usual, I watched every single movie in the Oscar nominated Best Picture category.
I liked them ALL. Except American Sniper.
Generally I like war movies. Blame it on the fact that I am a military wife.
Even the ones that turn me in to a sobbing mess because they are too close to my life.
(See: Hurt Locker. Never forget that I had a meltdown so bad that I almost had to leave the theatre)
(Sorry again, Dani. lol)
When they’re made well. This one…wasn’t. I’ma leave it at that.

I loved all the other ones, though. I didn’t even hate Boyhood. I did hate that it was LONG. SOFA KING LONG.
Two hours and 46 minutes.
And lemme tell y’all. That’s a long time for me to sit (reasonably) still. Luckily, there was chips and guac. And vodka.
I got through it. Which is more than I can say for Gone with the Wind.
Y’all. That movie is almost 4 hours long.
I tapped out. I tried. I really did.
Because I’ve never seen it AND since I was gonna talk about Hattie McDonald, first black person to win an Oscar,
I thought maybe I should. But I couldn’t. Because it was fours long.
I got up to around the halfway mark.

A few things:
In this movie, these people went to a party so long that all the women retired upstairs for a nap. Y’all really doing the most. A nap. So you can day drink AND night drink. TURN UP!

ALLLLL this time, I thought it was Hattie’s character that said “I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies!”
That was not her. That was Prissy (Butterfly McQueen)Huh.

The more you know.

ALSO. You can file these things under THINGS I DID NOT KNOW (about Hattie McDonald):
She appeared in over 300 movies, but only got credit for about 80-ish.
She was the first black woman to sing on the radio in the US.
She has TWO stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. TWO! (Radio/Motion Pictures)
AND. She was the first Black Oscar winner honored with a postage stamp.

Hattie accepting her award
I don’t know if I forgot or just never knew that she sat separately from the rest of the cast of Gone With The Wind.
But, WOW.

Now everyone sits all together at the Oscars, and they’ll have a diverse cast of presenters, and not once single person of color nominated in any of the acting categories.
In fact, the only Oscar given to black person/people was given for Best Original Song.

I’m not even gonna say it. ‘Cause I don’t have to. But you know what I’m thinking. And I guess so were the Oscars.

I really, REALLY do. And this one never fails to make me laugh
Even though I have always, ALWAYS hated Star Trek, the TV Show.

final frontier

But you know what I DON’T HATE?
Black History!
And since we’re TALKING about Star Trek (and we totally are)
Look at all this lovely in one picture!


On the left we have Nichelle (my belle) Nichols. One of the first African American women TV Characters
Who was not a servant. She’s also one of the participants in the first interracial kiss on US Television.
With none other than Captain James T Kirk, Intergalactic Ho.

As it turns out, Nichelle wanted to leave the show, but Dr Martin Luther (the) King, Jr. told her
she “could not give up” because she was playing a vital role model for black children and young women across the country,
as well as for other children who would see blacks appearing as equals.


It’s good she stayed on, because on your right, we have one of those black girls she would end up influencing.
That there is former NASA astronaut Mae Jemison.
She was the first African-American woman to travel in space, aboard the shuttle Endeavour.
She served as the science mission specialist on the STS-47 Spacelab J flight, which launched 12 September 1992.
She was ALSO the first “real” astronaut to appear on Star Trek.
Jemison has cited Nichols’ role of Lieutenant Uhura as her inspiration for wanting to become an astronaut.
And there you have it guys! Art imitating life, or something like that.
But not the Imitation of Life* because THESE women are definitely proud of being black and pioneering the way
for other young black women to do and be things that they’d never thought they could.
Yes. I did just randomly throw in movie reference.
(Look at me, Dani! I finally remembered the name of this damn movie on my own!)
Well. Not randomly. The Oscars are THIS WEEKEND.
So yeah. There’s a pretty good chance I’ll have something to say about the Oscars.
Aside from making cracks about how #OscarsSoWhite it won’t wear a jacket and long pants in the winter.
Or maybe not.
See you Monday for ONE! MORE! WEEK! of BHFOTDs!

*YES. Imitation of Life was an Oscar nominated film. Not for Best Picture, doe.
If you’ve never seen it, YOU SHOULD. You should also buy some stock in Kleenex.
ALSO, It definitely is a reflection of colorism in America.
AND the reason why even now, such lists as Celebrities you didn’t know were black exist
Because being thought of as any other race (Interjection!: Did you know that Vanessa Williams ancestry is ancestry is 23% from Ghana, 17% from the British Isles, 15% from Cameroon, 12% Finnish, 11% Southern European, 7% Togo, 6% Benin, 5% Senegal and 4% Portuguese?)
(I’ll let YOU decide if that was a related comment)
is still better than being thought of as Black in America.

Well you guys, it sorta worked!

With enough bullying I got Nisha to send me something.

SORTA. She ain’t write me anything, but she sent me an article.

But I’ll make it work.

TODAY IN BLACK HISTORY…. In 1870, Congress passes a Resolution to readmit the State of Mississippi.  To end martial law and be readmitted into Congress, southern states were forced to overturn any pro-slavery legislation in their state constitutions. Although some states initially refused to comply, all eventually accepted the conditions and were slowly readmitted into Congress.

So. Lemme tell you how BHFOTDs usually work. I alternate between dicking off at work and working super hard because I HAVE WORK TO DO, but also I ENJOY TELLING Y’ALL STUFF ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE. Then randomly I’ll get an idea, or see something somewhere or in this case have my sissie send me something that will spark whatever stuff I decide to write. And THEN, I’ll do a little research, very little OBVIOUSLY because I AM AT WORK AND I HAVE WORK TO DO. But some. I’ll look around to make sure my fact isn’t a crock of shit or incorrectly dated (if my fact is one of these here TODAY IN BLACK HISTORY type things).

NOW. I just looked up this here fact and this is a direct quote from one of the random sites I came across: “The period of post-war reconstruction brought about an era of progress and positive change for race relations in American History”

And then my head exploded.



But then..

ONE: Between 1873 and 1883 the Supreme Court handed down a series of decisions that virtually nullified the work of Congress during Reconstruction. Regarded by many as second-class citizens, blacks were separated from whites by law and by private action in transportation, public accommodations, recreational facilities, prisons, armed forces, and schools in both Northern and Southern states. In 1896 the Supreme Court sanctioned legal separation of the races by its ruling in H.A. Plessy v. J.H. Ferguson, which held that separate but equal facilities did not violate the U.S. Constitution’s Fourteenth Amendment.

TWO: From 1882 – 1968, Mississippi lynched a total of 539 Black folks. Which is the highest total of all the states. They also lynched a few white folks. 42 of them to be exact. I would also like to point out that my PARENTS were born in 1948. That being said, I would also like to thank God that my Daddy is from California and wasn’t one of the TWO black people they lynched in that time period.

THREE: Anybody ever heard of Freedom Summer of 1964? If you’ve seen Mississippi Burning, you’ve heard of Freedom Summer. (Cliff Notes Version: In 1964 three Mississippi civil rights workers were murdered on the night of June 21–22 in Neshoba County, Mississippi. The three young men had been working on the “Freedom Summer” campaign, attempting to prepare and register African Americans to vote after they had been disenfranchised since 1890. There was a GIGANTIC Federal investigation and when the state refused to prosecute (because WHY WOULD THEY?) the federal government started chargin’ folks with civil rights violations, a few (7/18) of them even served time.


Yeah. So progress. And positive change.

And I’ll be ME, and say that this is definitely a 3 steps forward, 5 steps back type of situation. Because even though there has been PROGRESS, it seems like people are just finding new and different ways to disenfranchise black people. I mean, if you ask me death by cop is the new lynching.



The Cliff Notes version: This is a  speech by U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves, one of just two African-Americans to have ever served as federal judges in Mississippi. He read it to three young white men before sentencing them for the death of a 48-year-old black man named James Craig Anderson in a parking lot in Jackson, Miss., one night in 2011. They were part of a group that beat Anderson and then killed him by running over his body with a truck, yelling “white power” as they drove off.

In related “this is how math works” comments: Three – Five = Negative Two.


Actually, I don’t. I mean, I LIKE IT. But I don’t LOVE it.
No. We’re not talking about football. ‘Cause I do sorta love football.
I’m talking about basketball. KINDA.

The All-Star weekend was this weekend!
And I missed MOST of it. But I didn’t miss this:
Kevin Hart getting’ schooled by 13 year old Mo’ne Davis at the Celebrity Basketball game.

It was in New York. And, I don’t know if you know this, but it was DAMN COLD in New York.
I mean…I don’t think it was Boston cold, but JEEZ.
Boston is currently so cold it’s making the news.
But we are NOT talking about Boston having the snowiest month in history.
We’re talking about New York news. HISTORY if you wanna get technical.
BLACK HISTORY if you wanna be exact. And I do. OBVIOUSLY.

Did you know that TODAY in 1951, New York City Council Passes Bill Prohibiting Racial Discrimination in Public Housing Developments? The bill was directed mainly at the Stuyvesant Town housing project, which was a public-private partnership project owned by the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company and the City of New York.

(Imagine that: An insurance with a history of discrimination dating back to when it was called National Union Life & Limb and was insuring Civil War soldiers AND The City of New York that EVEN TODAY IN 2015 unfairly targets African Americans under the “Stop-and-Frisk” policy* were being discriminating against black folks. Who’da thunk it?).

Managers of the housing development prohibited African American tenants and dispossessed residents who had been active in the campaign to end racial discrimination. Lawsuits were filed on the basis that the project was public- or semi-public, and violated anti-discrimination laws for New York City public housing, which were rarely enforced.

One month later, the Brown-Issacs Bill became law in New York City, making racial discrimination in public housing developments a misdemeanor offense punishable by a fine and prison term for the owner of any housing development constructed with public assistance to discriminate on account of race, color, or nationality.

And everybody lived happily ever after.

OR. Maybe 50+ years later on a different coast, in 2003, the Housing Rights Center of Los Angeles filed a housing discrimination case against Donald Sterling on behalf of 18 tenants. The lawsuit featured several racist statements allegedly made by Sterling to employees. While the final terms for the plaintiffs were confidential, the settlement obtained by the plaintiffs against Sterling was one of the largest of its kind and the public benefit terms were significant and wide-ranging.

AND THEN, In 2006, the U.S. Department of Justice then sued Sterling for housing discrimination for using race as a factor in filling some of his apartment buildings. In November 2009, ESPN reported that Sterling agreed to pay a fine of $2.7 million to settle claims brought by the Justice Department that Sterling engaged in discriminatory rental practices against Hispanics, blacks, and families with children.

But I was sorta talking about basketball, wasn’t I?
WELL. My BLACK History FOTD was about New York. And how it’s (still) racist.
But I’m feeling generous, because it’s President’s Day and I’m mad I have to work and y’all don’t
AND I know how some white folks get all riled up because THEY DON’T HAVE A WHITE HISTORY MONTH.
AND since now we have both white AND (one) black Presidents
I’ll also leave you with this White History fact.

In 2014, Donald Sterling became the first white owner of a basketball team who was stripped of his ownership and banned from the NBA fo’ life.
For being a racist who got caught being racist.

Just like that I brought it full circle. Like a basketball.

*Since nobody has developed a sarcasm font, I’m just gonna designate COMIC SANS. Because you can’t be taken seriously AND also use comic sans. You can do one or the other. But not both.

TSU 2012

Nisha (MY SISSIE!), George, (Char)Maine, Cricket. Hey Now!
This would be TSU Homecoming 2012.

I started goin’ to my sissie’s Tennesee State homecomings back when she was a student.
And kept goin’ back because DAMN. That’s how you get live, y’all.
I enjoyed it so much that I insisted our cousin who went to ‘SC go because, sorry USC, THAT is not a homecoming.

TO BE FAIR, I suppose. At USC you go for the football.
And at HBCUs, it’s all about the Band.
I mean, yeah..all Colleges/Universities have bands, but HBCU GOT BANDS THAT MAKE YOU DANCE
(I promise that’s not Oscar winner, Juicy J guys. It’s safe to click)

ANYWAYS. Since we’re talking about HBCU bands, and we are, let’s talk about sommore black history. ‘Cause it’s still February.
In the US, black marching bands formed as part of the military with the earliest musicians being fifers, drummers, trumpeters and pipers in Colonial-era militias.
Historians believe that nearly 5,000 Blacks were integrated in the pre-revolutionary war military as musicians, because most units banned black, mulattos, or native Americans in the military from bearing arms.

By the end of the Civil War, there were 185,000 black men inducted into the army as “United States Colored Troops”. Many would stay on after the war to form the first black units, while others went on to play in civilian bands.
Marching Bands had become integrated into the American Society by the late 19th century, including the first permanent black Minstrel troupes with one led by W.C. Handy.
These black Minstrel groups helped disseminate African-American styles of music and dance across the country.

Between 1880-1910 there were about 10,000 bands in the US, with many of them being Marching Bands. This was also the case in the African-American Community, especially in New Orleans, where black bands helped to raise money for numerous causes. Additionally, there was a rise in rural, self-taught bands that were strongly rooted in gospel and secular music- they basically replaced the voice using their instruments. Much of the music of these bands was characterized by offbeat phasing, polyrhythms, melodies and countermelody, syncopation and call-and-response patterns; all of which are hallmarks of other forms of African-American vernacular music. By the turn of the century, these bands were firmly established in New Orleans, the birthplace of jazz and the blues.

During World War I, many black military units again had military bands. Upon their return to the US in 1919, many of these musicians went on to join the faculty of the budding music departments of black college and universities.
These bands were initially formed at these historically black colleges to help raise money. Traditionally, many of these marching bands were linked to the ROTC and supported by the athletic department. The first marching band to deviate the military drill type formations was the University of Illinois band, who formed letters, words and intricate patterns on the field while playing in 1905. Their band director, Albert Austin Harding is considered a pioneer of the modern marching band.

Likewise at HBCUs numerous faculty set up the foundation for the modern black marching bands, including Major Nathaniel Clark Smith, the first officially titled Band Director at an HBCU. AND. W.C Handy, who joined the faculty at Alabama A&M leading to the adoption of the minstrel band style into HBCU bands. By the 1960’s, HBCU marching bands had developed a distinctive performance style and tradition which will have folks who didn’t even GO to an HBCU harassing you to find out when is your next homecoming so they can be down there boogying with the band. And also drinking. Because it’s time to GET GEEKED Y’ALL, IT’S HOMECOMING WEEK, which means the Alpha Day party right after you leave the Battle of the Bands, WHICH ALSO MEANS DAY DRINKING. And football. I’m pretty sure there’s also a football game or something too.

…and Kanye, can we also talk about Kim?
Because WHY was she out there looking like Ric Flair?



Because I can!
Because I have so much to say!
Because yannow. I love music. Because I’m black.
I should stop saying that. I won’t. But I should.
Because er’body loves music.
Music brings people of all races together*!

I mean…Iggy Azalea lost to EMINEM for the Best Rap Album this year!
Also? Did y’all know that Eminem won Best Rap Album six times in the history of this category?
AND. That EVERY TIME Eminem was nominated for this category, he won?
And I’m sure that’s probably not that he was the only white person in a category dominated by African Americans
And not because it’s an industry that dominated by white folks.
(After all Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ALSO won and I KNOW FOR SURE it was a better rap album than Kendrick Lamar Duckworth)
(No. There still isn’t a sarcasm font)
I’m not knocking Marshall’s skill.
It’s quite the coincidence.

Anyways! Back to what I was saying.
Marshall Mathers has six Grammys and Snoop has NONE.
And neither does NAS.
Or Public Enemy
Man, listen. Ain’t no way the Grammys would ever give none of those…thugs meaning n-words not RAPPERS awards.
For all of the obvious reasons.

What about Run DMC?
Run DMC also has NO Grammys.
Run DMC was the FIRST:
• To be nominated for a Grammy (Best R&B Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group/ BEFORE rap categories existed even)
• To have a gold album and a platinum record
• To have videos on MTV
• To appear on American Bandstand
• To be signed to a major product endorsement deal (Adidas)

I mean…if you tell me you like hip hop and don’t know who they are, everything else you say is invalid. FOR REAL.
According to people who know about music, “More than any other hip-hop group, Run–D.M.C. are responsible for the sound and style of the [hip-hop] music.” Characterized by sparse, hard-hitting beats, this would form the foundation of hardcore hip hop (particularly hardcore East Coast hip hop). As such, Run–D.M.C. is considered the originators of the style, and hardcore hip hop would dominate the next two decades of rap music, from the bombastic, noisy sound of Public Enemy and stripped minimalism of Boogie Down Productions to the thump of early Wu-Tang Clan and Nas. All people who do NOT have Grammys.

Their influence was not limited to JUST the East Coast.N.W.A., on their landmark 1988 album Straight Outta Compton, showed heavy influences from Tougher Than Leather-era Run–D.M.C., and Chicano rap act Cypress Hill were definitely influenced by Run–D.M.C.’s fusion of rap and rock.

Hell, even their look and style of the street would define the next 25 years of hip hop fashion.
(And I’ll be honest. I’m not a fan of grown men wearing skinny jeans. BUT WTF DO I KNOW? I’m 42 damn years old and am not at ALL impressed at men wearing pants tight as mine and YET AND STILL managing to not be able to pull them up to where I don’t have to see your skid marks. JUST SAYING)

SO. That’s your BHFOTD, kids. You didn’t get one yesterday. Because I am SO FUCKING BUSY. But, because I love you, I wanted to tell you about Run DMC:
The Second rap group to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Incidentally by Eminem. HUH.
(The First is Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)
Also. Since this BHFOTD is about Run DMC, lemme leave y’all with my sissie’s favorite song, because it’s been a while since I’ve mentioned her in a post!
* At least everyone came together to agree that Iggy Azalea’s fake dirty souf accent havin’ ass did NOT deserve a Grammy for her black-face rapping. So we at least have that. *high fives everyone*

(standing in the need of prayer!)

So! Are we still talking about the Grammys?

Because DAMN. There was so much Jesus!
Madonna brought her trusty gospel choir while she cavorted around with a bunch of horny whatever those were
Pharrell pulled out a gospel choir ‘cause he’s happy that song is still relevant.
(Hint: It isn’t)
Katy Perry was singin’ bout the Grace of God
Beyonce was there so that the Precious Lord could take her hand.
Looks like everybody was sangin’ ‘bout the Lord.
‘cept Kanye. Who really needed to have Jesus walk with him to the nearest seat.
Sir. You can decide who wins the MFing awards
When you have YOUR OWN AWARD SHOW.
Beyonce has the WHOLE ENTIRE BEYHIVE to keep her ego on 100.
Worry ‘bout yourself!

ALSO: Any of y’all up on the chisme with that whole Beyonce/Ledisi thing?
I mean…listen. Yes. Beyonce has a great voice. AND she’s hugely popular.
BUT. In my probably unpopular opinion, she coulda let Ledisi gon’ and sang that song.
2. She woulda tore the house down.
a. Have you heard her sing it?
b. Here you go!
3. Beyonce, you’ve got plenty of exposure.
a. Go ahead and share your spotlight, boo.
4. Still though, everything isn’t about you.

Anyways, Ledisi handled it beautifully.
“What I will say and what I’m excited about is that I had the pleasure of playing an iconic figure in Selma, and the song, ‘Take My Hand, Precious Lord,’ it’s been going on forever—starting with the queen Mahalia [Jackson], the queen of soul Aretha Franklin
“Then, I was able to portray and sing my version of the song, and now we have Beyoncé (interjection: I’m imagining side eye. Because I want there to be side eye). Her generation will now know the song, so I’m a part of history.”

I guess.

I mean…she got to play Mahalia Jackson. So I guess she still wins. Because DO YOU KNOW WHO MAHALA* JACKSON IS?
(look at me workin’ in this here black history fact!)

The Queen of Gospel. The first gospel singer to perform at New York’s Carnegie Hall.
She was also, Martin Luther (the) King Jr’s theme music. I’m kiddin’, sorta.
Ms. Jackson (‘cause I’m nasty) played an important role during the civil rights movement. In August 1956, she met Ralph Abernathy and Martin Luther King, Jr. at the National Baptist Convention.
A few months later, both King and Abernathy contacted her about coming to Montgomery, Alabama, to sing at a rally to raise money for the bus boycott. They also hoped she would inspire the people who were getting discouraged with the boycott.
And she did. In fact, Ms. Jackson appeared often with King, singing before his speeches and for SCLC fundraisers. In a 1962 SCLC press release, he wrote she had “appeared on numerous programs that helped the struggle in the South, but now she has indicated that she wants to be involved on a regular basis”. She said that she hoped her music could “break down some of the hate and fear that divide the white and black people in this country”

She also sang “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” at The Reverend Doctor King’s funeral after he was assassinated.
And when she passed on in 1972, Coretta Scott King eulogized her during the Chicago funeral as “a friend – proud, black and beautiful” with Aretha Franklin closing the Chicago rites with that very song.

So there you go. A story about the Grammys and how EVERYBODY there needs Jesus.
Especially Beyonce.
Jesus be some humility. JAYSUS.

Happy Monday!

* Not a typo! She ain’t add the “I” to her name until 1931.

Yes. I just made a Missy Elliot the subject of an e-mail. From my job.
You can blame it on the a a a a a alcohol…umm…the boogie… The Superbowl.
(I’m kiddin’ about the alcohol y’all. I haven’t drank on the job since I worked at Spencer’s Gifts. Don’t ask)
ANWAYS. Now that people who stopped checkin’ for Misdemeanor remembered the she’s a badass
She’s on the radio all the time. Which I’m sure SUPER ENTERTAINING for the people watching me car dance.

Also: Two outta Three ain’t bad right?
Got my nails done last week.
Gel nails last forever. Or around 2 weeks. Whatever comes first.

Yesterday I got my hair did. YES. DID.
Last night as a matter of fact.

No. I’m not going.
I am, however, gonna go to one of my favorite couple’s house and snark about it on the internet.
From her couch. While probably fighting off a twin child trying to eat food off my plate.
I think I win. I don’t even have to change out of my pajama pants.

I’ll be honest. I had totally forgotten about the Grammy’s even though they’re having a pre-Grammy concert RIGHT DOWN THE STREET (from my job. I am not getting paid well enough to live in the 90210).
But then the ladies in the shop were all up in arms about Beyonce singing Mahalia Jackson’s “Precious Lord” in a Selma tribute even though Ledisi SANG THE DAMN SONG IN THE SELMA MOVIE AS MAHALIA JACKSON. Grammy’s. I need y’all to get your sh!t together. Seriously.



1. That Quincy Delight Jones, Jr. has the record for the most Grammy nominations (79)?
a. And that his middle name was DELIGHT.
2. That Jamie Foxx (and T-Pain) actually WON A GRAMMY for Blame It?
3. The Jackson 5 won NO Grammys. MJ won all his sh!t SOLO BOLO y’all.
a. (At least Beyonce and ‘nem won a few thangs before she kicked ‘em all to the curb and BLEW UP)
4. Michael Jackson held the record until 2000 for most Grammys won in one night (12).
a. AND He’s also been nominated for a Grammy in the last 5 decades (70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s)

Okay. I guess I’m done randomly tellin’ y’all stuff about the Grammys. Because I’ve got stuff to do. But I guess I can’t mention Missy and then not leave you a little something: Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott – The ONLY female rapper to have six albums certified platinum by the RIAA, including one double platinum for her 2002 album Under Construction. I guess a song should go here. So here it go.

Happy Friday!
See y’all Monday. Maybe I can convince my sister to get off her ass and write me a thing next week.

Just Married

A couple months before my 20th birthday, I went on a Hawaiian vacation and came back married.
See. What had happened was, I was engaged to be married, right?
And then we started talking logistics.
Like, how many people are we gonna invite?
Where do you wanna get married?
(I’ve always wanted an outdoor wedding! And I got one! Waimea Beach Park. 10/10 would recommend)

ANYWAYS. Nesto has just gotten back from Korea (I think?) and was finally back in Hawaii.
I had never been to Hawaii and so I decided it would a great idea for me and Adam (age 2) to visit before he moved to another duty station.
And then we decided that since the gang’s all here, Let’s Get Married!
Basically I spent year twenty BBQing at Kailua Beach or at the E-Club with one other Marine Wife and 10 other Marines.
Yeah. Me at age 20 is sorta like me at age 42. Just stateside. And substitute partying at Kailua Beach/E-Club for sleeping on my couch.

Some people, though were out there doin’ shit and making history.

Take Vanessa Williams, for instance.
When SHE was 20, Miss Vanessa Lynn Williams because the First African American crowned Miss America.
Williams’ reign as Miss America was not without its challenges and controversies.
For the first time in pageant history, a reigning Miss America was the target of death threats and hate mail.
I can’t imagine WHY. I mean, she was as qualified as all of the other contestants, right? Hmmm…WHAT WAS DIFFERENT?

Ten months into her reign as Miss America, she received an anonymous phone call stating that nude photos of her taken before her pageant days had surfaced. Williams believed the photographs were private and had been destroyed; she claims she never signed a release permitting the photos to be used. After days of media frenzy and sponsors threatening to pull out of the upcoming 1985 pageant, Williams, feeling pressured by Miss America Pageant officials to resign, did so on July 23, 1984. The title subsequently went to the first runner-up, Suzette Charles, also an African American.
(There was a back-up black person on deck! I know. I’m so petty. Don’t care!)

Although she resigned from fulfilling the duties of a current Miss America, Williams was allowed to keep the bejeweled crown and scholarship money and is officially recognized by the Miss America Organization as “Miss America 1984”; Charles is recognized as “Miss America 1984-b”

She went on to do SO! MUCH! MORE! with her life. She went on to have a music career, and an acting career on stage and film/TV.
And to think this all maybe never woulda happened if someone hadn’t been trying to ruin her life over a youthful indiscretion.

Spank turns 20 this year! I can’t wait to see what her 20th year is gonna be like. I mean, aside from year 3 at BU (WTF? How is that even possible?!).
I feel like if 18 and 19 are any indication, 20 is gonna be equally memorable. I’m excited! I love watching her live her life! I’m glad I managed to get her this far, and she’s mostly taking it from here. I mean the best we can do is raise them right and not have some trigger happy racist asshole gun them down while they are minding their own business because to THEM you don’t belong and then have to justify even in death why your life matters and you deserved a chance to live it even if you ARE wearing a hoodie* hope that they get a chance to live their lives and make you proud.

*Also in people who WOULD have been 20 years old: Today is birth date of Trayvon Martin. Murdered 21 days after his birthday because post-racial America is not really past race at all.