Archives for posts with tag: hubby stuff

I was dropping Nesto off to the airport the other day and he tells me this story about how he almost got jumped by undercover security once while he was waiting for me to pick him up at the airport.
He’s like, yeah so this dude walked up on me and was like, “are you traveling alone?” and since he didn’t know him, he ignored him.
And then another dude came outta nowhere and walked up on them
Nesto: “Is he with you?”
Dude: Yeah, we just wanna ask you some questions.

He interjects his story to say to me: Pro tip- If you’re ever find yourself in a position where you’re about to get jumped, take it to the street,
because then everybody can’t just pile on; they have to worry about getting hit by cars.

So when he stepped in the street the guy was like, HEYYY… we just want to talk to you.
And Nesto was like I DO NOT KNOW YOU SO FUCK OFF
Now there’s like 5 or 6 dudes coming toward him, and of course the airport people are starting to gather to watch ‘cause WTH?
THEN the security dude takes out his badge ’cause he sees that Nesto is not backing down.

They ask Nesto for ID and he provides his military ID and they apologize for getting him all riled up
Nesto tells the guy ”I was for real getting ready to take out at least 2 or 3 of your people before I went down.”
(Another pro tip from the husband: Stand with your legs spread so they can’t just take you out at the knees. Thanks, honey!)

I LOVE when Nesto randomly tells me horrifying stories like this, and then acts like he already told me.
(No. No, I don’t)

Cut to me on my way to work Wednesday morning.

I park on a side street and walk over to where I need to cross and some dude is standing at the light.
Him: *looks me over* I’m gonna cross the street
Me: Congratulations.
Weirdo: You may as well just arrest me

(It’s just me and some random woman waiting to cross the street)
Me: *looks around*….? WHAT? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Then the light turns green, so I start walking ’cause FUCK THIS.

He starts crossing the street and I’m walking super-fast ’cause NOPE.
(I *can* walk fast if the situation calls for it, guys)
THEN he starts to RUN UP BEHIND ME
and I turn around and square up because IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THIS SHIT
He rushes past me, says EXCUSE ME and keeps moving.
And all I can think is HOW APPROPRIATE Nesto gives me this advice right before I ended up almost fighting some stranger in the street.

You guys.
I was anniversary-ing this weekend.
We went down to Humphrey’s (not just a concert venue, they have lodging!)
(Jill Scott is playing there today in case anybody wants to drive almost 3 hours to see her)
Saturday I did a little walking before Nesto got up because vacations away from the house mean sleeping in.
EVERYBODY WAS BBQ’ing down by the beach.
Everybody.
I came back and told Nesto he needed to feed me immediately right now.

And so. We go to Sister PeeWee’s Soul Food Restaurant:

Food: You ever been to a church where some ol’ mother of the church makes lunch during the break between morning service and afternoon service?
Like that. Only worse.

Décor: One wall was covered in Bumper Stickers, The other one was covered in pictures of family and friends. REALLY OLD FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

Nesto: *points to a picture of Marine* Hey! I know that guy. Because OF COURSE HE DOES.

Menu: Smothered Chicken/Pork Chops, Mac & Cheese, Rice, Greens.
“I woulda gave y’all some cornbread, but we ain’t got no mo’” – A DIRECT QUOTE

Also a direct quote: ‘Y’all want something to drank?”
**Pours two glasses of Kool-Aid**
(I swear I’m not lying)

Me: Trying to be game, because the Yelp reviews were thumbs WAAAYY up.
**Cue Rapper’s Delight**

Y’all.
Have you ever went to a restaurant to eat
And the food just ain’t no good?
I mean the macaroni’s soggy (and also it’s KRAFT crappy mac) the rice is mushed
And the chicken tastes like (gravy covered) wood?

-An interpretation (with some changes to describe exactly what I tried to eat) of The Sugar Hill Gang

I tried to eat it. I did.
‘Cause Nesto always calls me Bougie (I’m also the WORLD’S PICKIEST EATER)
so I was like MAYBE IT’S ME.
NOPE.

Nesto says all of the salt, vinegar flavor was in the greens.
And I don’t eat greens.
(See?)

After that we stopped by the 7-11 ‘cause I needed water.
I could feel my hands swelling from all the salt I needed to get some of that food down.
And Nesto told me that he could feel his hypertension flaring. (LAWD)

Then we went for a drive where I couldn’t stop laughing because
HOW DOES THIS RESTAURANT HAVE 5 STARS?!?!


Anyways, the next day, we went to Brunch. At our Hotel. Where they had live jazz.
And we were the couple who had been married the longest.
Twenty-three years of wedded “bliss”
(I’ll be honest. I’m no walk in the park, guys)
(But neither is he)
We were not the youngest. By a lot.

Everyone else was in their fancy sun dresses and slacks and stuff.
And us: Me in white shirt with BBQ sauce on it because
I have yet to master how to eat BBQ without making a mess
Him in a white tee and a pair of sweats.

I think that sums up who we are as a couple perfectly.

Restaurant: fiftyseven (Another soft opening: that’s what HE said)

Food: Fancy, and tiny. They served briya-sized portions.

Me: Fettuccine & lamb. (LAMB! I ate Mary’s friend! And it was not awful!)
I would also like to say that I chose it because it was the least scary thing on the menu.

Nesto: Bratwurst with salsa (?) and pretzel w/mustard (Everything was made in house!)
Everything was pretty good. Didn’t even need extra seasoning (which is good ‘cause there was no salt or pepper on ANY table)
ALSO: They had a pre fixe menu. NO.

People: Hipsters. We actually sat next to a lady wearing all black and a beret. Lived in a loft in the (very sketchy) area.
Gentrification! It’s coming for ALL of LA!

Other stuff: They had a singer downstairs in the club area of this place. She was good from what we could hear while we were eating.
Went downstairs and Mr CrazyPants decided there were too many people for him to remain there.
Something something…Rhode Island Fire (fun fact: I lived in Boston when this happened)

7/10 would recommend. Because menu was only pre fixe or appetizers. And there needed to be an plainer option for people who are not food adventurous