You guys.
I was anniversary-ing this weekend.
We went down to Humphrey’s (not just a concert venue, they have lodging!)
(Jill Scott is playing there today in case anybody wants to drive almost 3 hours to see her)
Saturday I did a little walking before Nesto got up because vacations away from the house mean sleeping in.
EVERYBODY WAS BBQ’ing down by the beach.
I came back and told Nesto he needed to feed me immediately right now.

And so. We go to Sister PeeWee’s Soul Food Restaurant:

Food: You ever been to a church where some ol’ mother of the church makes lunch during the break between morning service and afternoon service?
Like that. Only worse.

Décor: One wall was covered in Bumper Stickers, The other one was covered in pictures of family and friends. REALLY OLD FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

Nesto: *points to a picture of Marine* Hey! I know that guy. Because OF COURSE HE DOES.

Menu: Smothered Chicken/Pork Chops, Mac & Cheese, Rice, Greens.
“I woulda gave y’all some cornbread, but we ain’t got no mo’” – A DIRECT QUOTE

Also a direct quote: ‘Y’all want something to drank?”
**Pours two glasses of Kool-Aid**
(I swear I’m not lying)

Me: Trying to be game, because the Yelp reviews were thumbs WAAAYY up.
**Cue Rapper’s Delight**

Have you ever went to a restaurant to eat
And the food just ain’t no good?
I mean the macaroni’s soggy (and also it’s KRAFT crappy mac) the rice is mushed
And the chicken tastes like (gravy covered) wood?

-An interpretation (with some changes to describe exactly what I tried to eat) of The Sugar Hill Gang

I tried to eat it. I did.
‘Cause Nesto always calls me Bougie (I’m also the WORLD’S PICKIEST EATER)
so I was like MAYBE IT’S ME.

Nesto says all of the salt, vinegar flavor was in the greens.
And I don’t eat greens.

After that we stopped by the 7-11 ‘cause I needed water.
I could feel my hands swelling from all the salt I needed to get some of that food down.
And Nesto told me that he could feel his hypertension flaring. (LAWD)

Then we went for a drive where I couldn’t stop laughing because

Anyways, the next day, we went to Brunch. At our Hotel. Where they had live jazz.
And we were the couple who had been married the longest.
Twenty-three years of wedded “bliss”
(I’ll be honest. I’m no walk in the park, guys)
(But neither is he)
We were not the youngest. By a lot.

Everyone else was in their fancy sun dresses and slacks and stuff.
And us: Me in white shirt with BBQ sauce on it because
I have yet to master how to eat BBQ without making a mess
Him in a white tee and a pair of sweats.

I think that sums up who we are as a couple perfectly.