Long looooong ago, when I was in high school, Nesto taught me how to drive a stick shift.
[Yes. I’ve known my husband so long that he taught me how to drive]
[SOOOO many things I could say here, but I won’t because both of my parents get these facts]
[Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!]
[Hi kids!]

He taught me in his sister’s car.
Until she found out that he had his lil’ girlfriend driving all over the city in her car.
She put a stop to that quick fast and in a hurry.
I’m not even mad. How was she to know that he’d end up marrying me?

Fast forward to me going to Hawaii to visit (and elope with) Nesto.
We were staying with friends of his because he lived in the barracks.
And staying with friends was free.99.
They even lent him a car to drive so he could show me the island!

But one day Nesto got a ride in, and his friend tells me that I need to go pick him up at work.
He drew me a map. A map!
[Turn left at the gas station, make another left at the projects, on to the Highway, you can get to the base from there, yeah?]
Oh yeah, my wife’s car is a stick. You know how to drive a stick?
Me: Um. Yes?
Okay then! See y’all later.

And I was pretty sure I was gonna roll back and smash up somebody’s car.
I also stalled several times because I’M DRIVING BY MYSELF AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE I’M GOING AND….
It was terrifying.

ANYWAYS. I finally made it to the base.
NOW I had to find the location drawn on my fancy map to find my boyfriend so I could stop driving and curl into a ball in the passenger seat and stare silently out of the window until I could stop screaming on the inside

I had no idea. So I stopped a military policeman and asked for directions.
And because I’m me and all of the weird things happen to me, he tells me to follow him.
And then he takes off at rocket speed.
SO NOW, I’m doing 70 in a 30 chasing an MP.
I’m guessing Nesto’s friend called him and said “Hey, I sent your girlfriend to pick you up be on the lookout” because when I got there, the MP pointed in the general direction to let me know I made it and took off at warp speed.
And Nesto is standing outside trying to figure out WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED.
And why I was not just speeding, but apparently getting a police escort.

Him: Well, hello Wendell Scott*
Me: Here he comes, here comes speed racer…..

(yes boys and girls, like me, today’s fact is short and sweet)
(and also pretty fucking awesome)

*no, he didn’t actually call me Wendell Scott because he didn’t know about the first black NASCAR driver. But I bet he will now