I went to BlogHer this year. It was a last minute decision, so sorry if I gave some of y’all heart attacks by being where I didn’t say I’d be. Usually I go for the parties, and to stalk my favorite bloggers who I don’t get to see regularly because they don’t live in SoCal. This time I went for something else. BUT WHILE I WAS THERE (I stalked up a few faves, went to a few parties and ALSO), I dropped in on a few panels. One of which was  The Girlfriends’ Guide to California Politics that was being hosted by the California Women Lead organization. While I’m not usually “politically minded” (y’all read my blog, right?), I was interested. Even more so when I realized that women are severely lacking in leadership roles in California. One of the more disturbing facts that were presented was that of the 296 seats County Boards of Supervisors in CA, 68 are women. Many counties have 0.

 THIS IS AN IMPORTANT LESSON ABOUT REPRESENTATION GUYS.

 We need to get involved. We need to be interested, and active in issues that affect us. Our homes, our healthcare, our bodies.

And if you don’t think it matters…Lemme tell y’all a little something I learned about….Ducks.

In early July, I went to Vegas with some friends. One of them is getting married! That isn’t why I was in Vegas, it was just a happy coincidence that she told us she’s plannin’ to get hitched. And in the way that women do, we asked lots of questions. One of them had to do with the living situation, which, he hasn’t completely moved in because he has ducks. And I think chickens? Maybe she owns the chickens? I’m not sure because I was drunk and in Vegas drinking out of straw shaped like a penis. ANYWAYS. The point of this story is that the chickens (whoever owns them) need protecting from the ducks. BECAUSE APPARENTLY DUCKS ARE RAPISTS.

 No. I’m not exaggerating. She told me a horrifying story of ducks raping chickens, ducks raping other ducks, and corkscrew penises. And then I did some research! Because WHUT? That can’t really be a thing. But it is, Blanche, it is. But NEVER FEAR. Apparently female ducks* are constantly evolving ways to not get pregnant from forced sex. Female ducks have the vaginal equivalent of false passages and dead ends.

 Sidenote: I bet in a million years you never thought you would be learning about duck sex (forced or otherwise) on my blog. You’re welcome.

HOW DO THESE TWO THINGS EVEN CONNECT?! WELL. There are 20% or less women in Elected Office. Maybe if we got more involved in politics, more involved in seeking public offices, ignorant mother fuckers wouldn’t be trying to convince people that we are not in fact human ladies, but lady DUCKS. (See what I did there? There’s always a point guys, sometimes you just gotta look for them)

 

**As it turns out Female PEOPLE also have ways of preventing pregnancy (forced or otherwise): birth control and emergency contraceptives, but if there’s no one representing women and what’s important to us, how much longer will we have them?