A Blast from the past!

You guys! This morning I was walking to the elevator and this researcher power walks past me and rushes in and THEN tries to badge and hit her floor/close the elevator doors before I could get on. BUT. Surprise!

I held the button, so I could saunter on, and stare at her until she got off on her floor. It was an awkward (for her) trip. Every time shit like this happens I remember how much I HATE elevator riders SO. MUCH. So much that a million years ago I blogged a completely ridiculous Ode to Why I Hate People On Elevators. And I dug it up JUST FOR YOU:

*AHEM*

I hate the way that people act
to just be in your presence…
We’ve got ELEVEN other elevators banks
is time THAT much of the essence?

I hate the way that people stampede on
I can’t even get myself OFF first…
There is no freakin’ fire, people
Haven’t you heard of manners, JERKS?!

I hate the cell phone talkers
all loud with no propriety…
Don’t you know it’s not polite
to discuss your threesome among regular society?

And doctors who act like they’re alone
while they discuss their patients
You know that is against the rules…
I am not invisible, and yes, I hate you too.

I hate you, too much perfume wearer
riding in this teeny tiny crate
My eyes and nose are swelling up
Who still wears Jean Nate?!

And YOU, Mr. Crusty McSickyface here on the 6th Floor
I want to kick your ass
We’re in a mother fucking HOSPITAL…
Why didn’t you get a mask?!

Why do you have to stand so close, stranger?
All in my personal space…
It’s just you & me in this elevator
Don’t make me use my mace.

Or do we ALL have to pile in together
like some frat boys in a telephone booth…
I think somebody’s touching my ass
and I’m pretty sure I lost my shoe.

I HATE you Perv that works here
stop staring at my tits!
They do not talk, or do fancy tricks…
and I’m getting ready to lose my shit!

I hate you asshole solo rider
trying to push the button to close
I managed to get on ANYWAY
so FUCK YOU.

Yes, I know that last one didn’t rhyme at all
that doesn’t make it less true…
Instead of lowering myself to mean & angry glares
I need to find a different route

See also: Reason I Haven’t Quit My Day Job

 

ANYWAY. I am not a poet (obviously), BUT SHE IS: Rita Dove, First African American Poet Laureate (1993), second to receive the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry.

Dove made her formal literary debut in 1980 with the poetry collection The Yellow House on the Corner, which received praise for its sense of history combined with individual detail. The book heralded the start of long and productive career, and it also announced the distinctive style that Dove continues to develop. Poet Brenda Shaughnessy noted that “Dove is a master at transforming a public or historic element—re-envisioning a spectacle and unearthing the heartfelt, wildly original private thoughts such historic moments always contain.”

In addition to poetry, Dove has published works of fiction, and written lyrics for composers. Dove told Black American Literature Forum: “There’s no reason to subscribe authors to particular genres. I’m a writer, and I write in the form that most suits what I want to say.” Dove’s own work, the popular Thomas and Beulah, was staged as an opera by Museum for Contemporary Art in Chicago in 2001.

Rita Dove has had a tremendous impact not just through the scope of her poetry, but also through her work as an advocate. She saw her appointment as poet laureate as a mandate to generate public interest in the literary arts. She also noted in the Washington Post that her appointment was “significant in terms of the message it sends about the diversity of our culture and our literature.”

dove

  1. I stan a queen who loves herself [see shirt].
  2. And also reps other lady poets of color.
  3. See her last quote.

 

 

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