One of my favorite ones (surprise surprise!) was working at 24 hour fitness. In the corporate office guys. I still had to people, but I didn’t have to LOOK at them. I sent them nicety emails when they complained about things that weren’t our fault and credited them free months when it was. A surprising amount of military personnel have memberships and honestly I don’t know why ‘cause a) they get “free workouts” just about every day AND b) there is a FREE GYM on every base (but damn near everyone there is military or attached in some way and I suppose it’s easier to ogle women when you don’t know if they are also military and will beat you up for being inappropriate and/or know your spouse and rat you out you still end up getting beaten up). Anyway. Not the point of this story.

While I was working there, I decided to get a part time gig at Frederick’s of Hollywood which was truly a terrible decision because you get 40% everything even the stuff on sale, you could BUY stuff and have them take it out of your check AND if you wore skirts/dresses you had to wear pantyhose. And if you know me at all, you definitely know that was the straw that made me tell them I broke my leg and I was never coming back. (I was young, okay? But it was also nicer than just saying y’all done lost your damn mind and this is all a BunchOfBullshit. I had to dress nicer there than I did at my REAL JOB!) I did make it through Christmas/New Year’s shopping but whew I was glad to be shut of that job and back in my jeans. Like can you imagine getting a job that SEEMS like it’s gonna be amazing and then realizing that no? No it wasn’t?

I like to think that William Hastie, probably knew. But I’m just guessing. Who is that?

Before I tell you, lemme tell you ANOTHER story! I’ll try to keep it short, but no guarantees [still not sorry! But at least it’s SFW].

SO! Imagine you’re a Black* (and native with some *possible* European mixed in because massa just refused to stay outta slave quarters, I’m sure for a little razzle dazzle) graduate of Harvard Law School, in private practice with your cousin in DC serving  as assistant solicitor of the US Department of the Interior advising the agency on racial issues.  It’s 1937, and FDR just appointed YOU, to the District Court of the Virgin Islands, making you the first African American federal judge. Because america is yannow…AMERICA, the Chairman of the US Senate Committee on the Judiciary calls your appointment a blunder. World War II is happening and Black people are complaining about discrimination at home while fighting against intolerance overseas (side note: I promise you that I randomly chose this fact today, probably about an hour ago and I am continuously amused at how closely sometimes the past facts mirror the present tense. Okay. Back to my story). You do your job for 2 years, and then in 1939, you resign from the court to go about your black ass business be the Dean of the Howard University School of Law. Where you become a member of Omega Psi Phi [I clearly was not kidding when I said his black ass business], and teach Thurgood Marshall, who went on to be the first black US Supreme Court Justice.

Now. I’m not saying that he quit ‘cause he was probably SICK of racists talking slick to him as the FIRST BLACK to do something that they ain’t think he had a right to do because how DARE HE THINK HE’S EQUAL, but I’m not saying he didn’t either.

Also? FDR’s successor, Harry Truman, appointed Hastie as Territorial Governor of the US Virgin Islands. A position he held from 1946-49 before THEN receiving a recess appointment to the US Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, to a new seat authorized by 63 Stat. 493, becoming the first African-American federal appellate judge. He was nominated to the same position by President Truman on January 5, 1950. He was confirmed by the United States Senate on July 19, 1950, and received his commission on July 22, 1950. He served as Chief officer as a member of the Judicial Conference of the United States from 1968 to 1971. He assumed senior status on May 31, 1971. He was a Judge of the Temporary Emergency Court of Appeals from 1972 to 1976. His service terminated on April 14, 1976, due to his death in Philadelphia, while playing golf. So maybe it WAS the people he worked with before that chapped his ass since it CLEARLY wasn’t the Judgin’.

*please note that if EYE specifically mention racial makeup it’s ‘cause it was SPECIFICALLY mentioned somewhere. Not that it mattered, ‘cause when you’re racist, even a drop of black genetics makes you black and mentioning that he *might* have European ancestry is strictly to give him some legitimacy. But let’s all be clear that any whiteness in his veins was most likely because his family was owned by some white folks. Okay byeeeeee