Like, high as giraffe pussy high.


Two years ago (or so), I called my cable provider and was like, hey listen: I don’t want to pay this much for my cable. But I also do not want to lose any of my services. Please keep in mind before you tell me that I have to, that I’ve already priced other service providers. And so they took enough off my bill that I kept the service. But whatever they did expired and I wanted to slap somebody when I saw my bill for January. FINE. I did the little chat thing on the website and repeated the whole spiel. And because they outsource customer service usually, the person was not able to help me, but promised I’d be getting an email with some options for discounts. THEN. I clicked out and completed the survey. I was VERY complimentary. “He was friendly, polite, and courteous. But I’m not playing with y’all. My bill is too damn high and I *will* cancel this service if y’all don’t lower it. Thanks for your help!” That is pretty much a direct quote. It me. Charming. But with the shits.

I said all that to say that bullying works guys. Sometimes though, it takes constant bullying to make it stick. Would you like another example because I have a BHFOTD to share? No?

Wonderful! If I was writing this fact YESTERDAY (which I did not), I woulda told you that YESTERDAY in 1988, the president of the Alabama NAACP and 13 other Black people were arrested for trying to scale an 8-foot fence around the Alabama State Capitol in an effort to take down a confederate flag atop the building. “The Blacks” (a direct quote from a NYT article in 1988) contend that the Rebel battle flag (/flag of the confederate* states which lost a WHOLE ASS WAR because they wanted to keep Black people enslaved/ flag of LOSERS)  is a racist symbol of slavery and oppression. The NAACP was also campaigning to bring down a confederate flag over the South Carolina Statehouse, AND remove the rebel flag from the designs of the Georgia** and Mississippi state flags.

White people across from the Alabama Capitol sang “Dixie” and carried signs reading “Heritage, Honor, Pride, Not Racist” , “Save Our Flag” and “Jews will not replace us”. Oh wait. That last one was South Carolina racists. My bad. A smaller crowd of blacks sang “Knuck if you Buck”. I’m kidding. They sang “We Shall Overcome” But I still say the former is more appropriate.

State Troopers and Capitol police confronted State Rep Thomas Reed, the President of the state chapter of the NAACP. Wow. State Troopers at a Capitol Building to confront black people protesting? WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT? Certainly not any Black person protesting anywhere ever. ANYWAY. All 14 were charged with 2nd degree criminal trespassing and each was released on bond.

It didn’t work that time, but guess what? People were not done! In 2015, After the murder of nine parishioners at a historic black church in Charleston, South Carolina, the protests got a little louder. ‘Cause let’s face it. Plenty of people have pointed out this flag is racist AF, but racists in power continued to Heritage and History the flag. Conveniently forgetting that the Heritage AND History was Slavery.   The murderer of nine people, whose name deserves no mention, had MANY photos holding the rebel flag. Bree Newsome, tired of talking, scaled a 30-foot flagpole at the South Carolina Statehouse and took down the confederate flag. She was arrested (Naturalmente. You can’t just storm a Capitol building and not expect to get arrested. OR CAN YOU? HAHAHAHAHAHA *clears throat*)  But then the Governor Nikki Haley signed a bill removing the flag from the statehouse grounds, describing it as “a reminder of systemic oppression and racial subjugation.” [POST Charleston Church shooting. Not one second before.]  And then, New Orleans removed several confederate monuments.

BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE: On June 18, 2020, the commissioner of the Southeastern Conference, announced the SEC would consider banning championship events in Mississippi until the flag was changed. The SEC is the athletic conference for the two largest universities in Mississippi, Ole Miss and Mississippi State. On June 19, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) banned all post-season play from occurring in Mississippi until the flag is changed. The NCAA had previously banned predetermined events such as football bowl games and men’s basketball tournament games in 2001 from occurring in the state. The new rule would have also banned merit-based championship sites, such as baseball regionals, softball regionals, women’s basketball tournament games and tennis tournament games. Ole Miss hosted both baseball and softball regionals in 2019. Mississippi State hosted a baseball regional, men’s tennis tournament games and women’s basketball tournament games in 2019. AND THEN. June 22, Conference USA banned all postseason play in Mississippi until the removal of the Confederate emblem from the state flag. Conference USA is home to the state’s third largest university, Southern Miss, and has hosted its annual baseball tournament in Mississippi for eight of the past nine years. On June 23, presidents of the fifteen community colleges in Mississippi issued a joint statement showing their support for a new flag.

Just call Mississippi Sun City.

And wouldn’t you know it, JUST LIKE THAT, Lieutenant Governor Delbert Hosemann announced his support for a new flag on June 24th. Hosemann was joined by Attorney General Lynn Fitch, State Auditor Shad White, Agriculture Commissioner Andy Gipson and Insurance Commissioner Mike Chaney. On June 27, 2020, the Mississippi Legislature passed a resolution, House Concurrent Resolution 79, that suspended rules in the legislative chambers in order to debate and vote on a bill to remove and replace the state flag. The motion was passed with the House approving by a vote of 85–34 and the Senate approving by a vote of 36–14.

See kids? Bullying people for being racist works! KEEP GOING. One flag down, ONE TO GO.

*The word confederate does not deserve capitalization. It knows what it did.