Welcome, welcome WELCOME to this year’s Black History Facts of the Day.
Another year, another February, another time for me to tell y’all about stuff black people do, did, and sometimes had done to them. Are you excited kids?

TOO BAD. You signed up for this, so you’re stuck.
Anyways, how y’all been? Good? Y’all been enjoying/resigning yourself to random BHFOTDs that I post just to keep y’all on your toes?

So did uh…anybody watch the game yesterday?
I did. And lemme just say: I am a New England Patriot hater. And USUALLY, I want all the bad things in life to happen to Tom Brady, and nobody but him.

But TODAY, I’m currently wishing that Pete Carroll gets ALL the bad things because WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CALL THAT PLAY, PETER?
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A DAMN PROFESSIONAL AND THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST THING YOU EVER DID
EVER. That includes that USC Bullshit that you pulled, sir. FUCK YOU* AND THE TEENY TINY HORSE YOU RODE IN ON.

*AHEM* I’m back. As you can see I have FEELINGS about Pete Carroll. AND ALL OF THEM ARE ANGRY.

Moving Along!
It’s the day after the Super Bowl, I guess it would be a good time to talk about BLACK PEOPLE IN FOOTBALL.
And because I’m tired, because football + whiskey + 2 hour ride (I’m not a great passenger, I’ll admit it) I’ll keep this quick.

Y’all know I LOVE to start of Black History with firsts, so here you go!

DID YOU KNOW that Seattle Seahawk Russell Carrington Wilson (born in 1988 and is NOT related to Wilson, the ball makers. I bet HIS balls are fully inflated. His FOOTBALLS. You know what? Nevermind) led the Seahawks to its FIRST EVER Super Bowl victory in 2013.

AND:

Russell Wilson was born the year that Johnny Grier became the FIRST EVER African-American referee in the history of the NFL with the start of the 1988 NFL season.
Grier has officiated in one Super Bowl, Super Bowl XXII in 1988, which was his last game as a field judge (which apparently is different than a ref)

ALSO:

THE SAME YEAR in which Doug Williams became the first African-American quarterback to win the Super Bowl (Washington Racial Slurs** (42) vs. Denver Broncos (10)).

….And the green grass grows all around all around and the green grass grows all around.

So that’s it for today kids.

The NFL has been around since 1920 and black people have been playing in it since the beginning (more or less. Because racists gonna try to keep black players from playing because of racists coaches and also because the Great Depression led to an increase in racism and segregation until finally some (black) people pointed out the NFL didn’t have any black players and that they needed to abide by the 1896 Supreme Court decision, Plessy v. Ferguson, by not leasing the stadium to a segregated team…*cough* race? )
And it took 68 years to have ONE Black referee. And then ANOTHER 20 YEARS before Mike Carey was the FIRST African American designated as referee of Super Bowl XLII between the New England Patriots (17) vs New York Giants (14).

WOO. PROGRESS. (*side eye*)

*Wouldn’t be a Black History fact without song, right?
**Y’all. I need somebody to make me a t-shirt that says Washington Racial Slurs. I’d wear THEFUCK outta that shirt. FOR REALS.

On August 9, 2014 August 28, 1955, Michael Brown Emmett Louis Till , an African-American boy who was murdered in Missouri Mississippi at the age of 18 14 Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson drove up to Brown and a friend, Dorian Johnson, and ordered them to move off the street and onto the sidewalk. An altercation then took place between Brown and Wilson through the window of the police car. after reportedly flirting with a white woman. Till was from Chicago, Illinois, visiting his relatives in Money, Mississippi, in the Mississippi Delta region, when he spoke to 21-year-old Carolyn Bryant, the married proprietor of a small grocery store there. . A shot was fired from within the vehicle and Brown and Johnson began to flee. Wilson left his vehicle, fired his pistol at Brown and confronted him. Wilson then fired several shots at Brown, fatally wounding him. Witness reports Brown was on his knees with his hands up when Wilson shot him multiple times. Several nights later, Bryant’s husband Roy and his half-brother J. W. Milam went to Till’s great-uncle’s house. They took Till away to a barn, where they beat him and gouged out one of his eyes, before shooting him through the head and disposing of his body in the Tallahatchie River, weighting it with a 70-pound (32 kg) cotton gin fan tied around his neck with barbed wire. Brown’s body is left lying in the middle of the street for four hours. Three days later, Till’s body was discovered and retrieved from the river.

Till’s body was returned to Chicago. His mother, who had raised him mostly by herself, insisted on a public funeral service with an open casket to show the world the brutality of the killing. “The open-coffin funeral held by Mamie Till Bradley exposed the world to more than her son Emmett Till’s bloated, mutilated body. Her decision focused attention not only on American racism and the barbarism of lynching but also on the limitations and vulnerabilities of American democracy”. Tens of thousands attended his funeral or viewed his casket and images of his mutilated body were published in black-oriented magazines and newspapers, rallying popular black support and white sympathy across the U.S. The shooting sparked unrest in Ferguson due to longstanding racial tensions in one of the most segregated metropolitan areas in the United States. Protests, and other forms of social unrest continued for more than a week, with night curfews being imposed and escalating violence by State Police Department. Intense scrutiny was brought to bear on the condition of black civil rights in Mississippi, with newspapers around the country critical of the state. .Rep. John Lewis (D-GA), who nearly 40 years ago suffered a fractured skull as police officers attacked civil rights protesters with dogs and billy clubs in Selma, Alabama, denounced the police treatment of protesters and journalists in Ferguson, recommended the federalization of  the Missouri National Guard to protect citizens from police brutality. . Although initially local newspapers and law enforcement officials decried the violence against Till and called for justice, they soon began responding to national criticism by defending Mississippians, which eventually transformed into support for the killers. A support campaign for Darren Wilson, the Ferguson police officer who shot 18-year-old Michael Brown six times, has managed to collect over a quarter million dollars in a few days via GoFundMe, a crowdsourcing site. Several donors passed racist comments on the page while making donations, prompting GoFundMe to disable the comments as it was in violation of the site’s terms

The trial attracted a vast amount of press attention. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) opened a civil rights investigation of the shooting. President Barack Obama issued a statement expressing condolences to Brown’s family and committed the U.S. Department of Justice to conduct an investigation. “When an all-white, all-male jury acquitted Bryant and Milam of kidnapping and murder in September, the verdict shocked observers across the country and around the world. And when, mere months later, the men openly admitted to Look magazine that they had, in fact, mutilated and murdered Till, the outcry was so intense — and the reaction of Till’s devastated family so dignified — that it lit a spark that helped ignite the modern civil rights movement”. Bryant and Milam were acquitted of Till’s kidnapping and murder, but only months later, a Look magazine reporter interviewed Bryant and Milam. Protected against double jeopardy, they admitted to killing him, which further inflamed black opinion. Till’s murder is noted as a pivotal event motivating the African-American Civil Rights Movement. The shooting of Michael Brown is under investigation by a grand jury. The demographics of the jury are 68 percent white and 24 percent black.

If you don’t learn from your past you are forced doomed to repeat it.

Hey. Did you know that all this time I thought Captain Planet was saying the CHOICE is yours but really it’s THE PLANET

But I kept it because I DO WHAT I WANT.

Let’s talk about old school hip hop. When I was a teenager (waaaaay back in the ‘80’s) we listened to KDAY. Because I like to keep it gangsta.
(I’m just kidding. It’s because it was really the only station that played rap unless you wanted to listen to smooth R&B)
And it catered to the kids. They would have kids from different high schools come up and do a top 10 or somethin’.
(Hey Sissie! Remember that time Narbonne did the top 10?)
(Remember when going to Narbonne was embarrassing?)
(and now our Football team is balling outta control)
*cough*

ANYWAYS. So last night when I was driving home from Happy Hour (what? It was Taco Tuesday! And I’m grown. Sorta)
I got in the car and this song was playing on the NEW KDAY. AND I LOVE THIS SONG.
So I was totally car dancing. Because yes, this totally took me back to the Palladium days.
And cruising Crenshaw. And sometimes Hollywood Blvd. If somebody could borrow their parent’s car.

Because I’m old.

So today’s gimme (please refer to above statements of tacos & tequila on a Tuesday) is about The Black Sheep.
The Black Sheep The group was an affiliate of the Native Tongues. The Native Tongues is a collective of late 1980s and early 1990s hip-hop artists known for their positive-minded, good-natured Afrocentric lyrics, and for pioneering the use of eclectic sampling and later jazz-influenced beats. Its principal members are the Jungle Brothers, De La Soul, and A Tribe Called Quest. The collective was also closely tied to the Universal Zulu Nation.
Black Sheep was also one of the first groups to parody gangsta rap
(still in its infancy when A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing was released) in “U Mean I’m Not.” (NSFW)

And on May 26, 1992 (!!) they were the first rap group to play on The Tonight Show (with Jay Leno) –Ta DA!

(although I don’t think Johnny Carson ever had rappers on his show)
(and if he did, they kept that shit whisper quiet ‘cause I LOOKED)
Hope you enjoyed today’s look back into my musical choices as a teen. And if you didn’t, I have one last song for you!
(Also a fave!)

I don’t know about you, but I have an actual house phone. With a cord and everything.
Usually though, I don’t answer it. Unless I look at it and recognize the phone number calling me.
It’s more of an emergency line. Or an “Oh, you need a phone number?” number
…because I’m not ever gonna give you an ACTUAL way to reach me because I never want to talk to you and the only reason I gave you THIS number is because you required a phone number.

Otherwise, call me on my cell!
If I like you, you have my cell number.
And you definitely have a better chance reaching me.
I mean…my phone is almost on vibrate, BUT! I usually stick my phone in my bra.
So, I’m not actually groping myself, guys. I’m trying to answer my phone.
(Hi Mommy! I know you are SO PROUD of your oldest child right now)

A DISCLAIMER: BY GIVING ME YOUR CELL PHONE, YOU ARE AGREEING TO RANDOM TEXTS/PHOTOS/RANTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
You are free to answer them whenever you’d like, unless you text me at 3AM talking about you need a ride home from the EMERGENCY ROOM.
In which case, YOU BETTER BE THE PROMPTEST MOTHER FRACKER ALIVE when it comes to responding to texts of “ARE YOU OKAY? And/or WTactualF IS GOING ON?”
If you are sensing underlying hostility, good. You should be.

What does this have to do with the price of bananas? (Hey Nisha, see what I did there?)

On July 6, 1971, Henry T. Sampson was awarded a patent with George H. Miley for the invention of the gamma-electric cell,
a direct-conversion energy device that converts the energy generated from the radiation of high-energy gamma rays into electricity.
He did NOT invent the cell phone! But. This invention produces stable high-voltage output and current to detect radiation in the ground without the use of a heat cycle;
the gamma-electric cell made it possible to send and receive audio signals via radio waves without wires;
therefore,rather than inventing the cell phone (available in 1983), he co-invented the technology which made the cell phone possible.
Other patents include a binder system for rocket propellants and explosives and a case-bonding system for cast-composite rocket propellants
both related to the manufacturing and production of solid-propellant rocket motors.

Sampson was a pioneer in academia as one of the first African-American chemical engineering graduates.
He went on to become the first African-American to earn a PhD in nuclear engineering in the U.S.
He sure is one smart motor scooter!

No? FINE.

Y’all know that Emmie is my Sister From Another Mister (SFAM), right?
So that makes her kids auntie’s babies!
And I don’t know if y’all can guess this from my general behavior,
But I totally ruin kids.

So when she told me that auntie’s baby hadda do a book report
And that she didn’t want to do a report on somebody they’re gonna learn about anyways
I gave her some suggestions.

Here’s one of them.
Please to enjoy a random BHFOTD from 2012!
(Me. Warming up for February. When it’s hip to be black! Or know black people! Or talk about black people! Unless of course you’re calling them “thugs” or “hoodlums” or…I think y’all get the point)

Some background: When I wrote this post, I was on a leave of absence from work. I had just had minor surgery. But it was February! So I still wrote a fact.

Subject: I’d like to think if I lived in Hawaii again…

That I’d be listening to Jack Johnson while drinking Mai Tai’s by the beach. I’d like to think I’d be way more “adult”.

As opposed to doing what I did when I lived there: hanging out on Kaneohe Bay Beach with a bunch of Marines drinking Boone’s Farm straight from the bottle listening to Shabba Ranks and Shai. (Gimme a break y’all, it was 1993)

Sidenote: HI MOM!!!
Sorry, my sissie’s co-workers, you would have thought by now she would have warned you about me.

But I’m not going to lie:

1. I pretty much hate Jack Johnson (and I think his head is HUGE).
2. I had more fun hanging out with a bunch of Marines.

I’m fairly certain you’re trying to figure out what this has to do with the Black History Fact of the Day (which will be now known as BHFOTD …like RHOA, only less embarrassing to black people everywhere). Good question!

TODAY (February 3rd) in Black History, in 1903, Jack Johnson became the first Negro Heavyweight Champion. At first, I was all NO WAY! That guitar playing weirdo was a SURFER, not a boxer! But then I realized that it’s possible that there is more than one Jack Johnson in the world and that maybe that was the vicodin talking.

ANYWAYS, (John Arthur) “Jack” Johnson was born in Galveston, TX to former slaves Henry and Tina “Tiny” Johnson. Johnson credited his success in boxing from the coaching he received from Joe Choynski, who became his cellmate after the pair were arrested for fighting in Texas, where boxing was illegal at the time. Although Johnson is still considered one of the best, most powerful counter-punchers who ever stepped in a ring, He is often remembered more for a flamboyant lifestyle that, coupled with his skin color in “White America,” inspired unprecedented controversy and even rioting.

He transformed himself from the docks of Galveston, Texas, to early 20th-century glitterati. He had his own jazz band, owned a Chicago nightclub, acted on stage, drove flashy yellow sports cars, reputedly walked his pet leopard while sipping champagne, flaunted gold teeth that went with his gold-handled walking stick and boasted of his conquests of whites — both in and out of the ring. (So basically, boxers haven’t changed much from early 1900’s. Just change “had his own jazz band” to “Became a Rapper” and pet leopard for “Pit Bull”. Also? WTH? PET LEOPARD?)

Moving on… By 1902, Johnson had won at least 50 fights against both white and black opponents. Johnson won his first title on February 3, 1903, beating “Denver” Ed Martin over 20 rounds for the World Colored Heavyweight Championship. His efforts to win the full title were thwarted, as world heavyweight champion James J. Jeffries refused to face him then. Johnson DID finally win the Heavyweight Title in 1908. And in 1910, Jeffries later came out of retirement to fight Johnson in an effort to “reclaim the heavyweight championship for the white race” for the unheard sum of $120,000. Which, coincidentally is $55,000 more than they paid the Heavyweight Champion. Who won.

Anyways, this is getting long, and I’m getting tired. BHFOTD: Jack Johnson, 1st Negro Heavyweight Champion. Influencer of Muhammed Ali. Person that 1970 Movie “Great White Hope” is based on. Featured on EA Sports Fight Night Champion as downloadable content on Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 as part of the “Legends Pack” with Jack Dempsey, Floyd Patterson, Joe Louis, and Rocky Marciano.

Not top heavy guitarist.

So, today is Martin Luther (the) King, Jr. Day.

And usually, I write Black History Facts of the Day (BHFOTD) for days like today. Yannow. Days of importance for Black folks and all that. But I used up my really good fact about the Reverend Doctor King on his birthday. So instead, I’m gonna post a real conversation I had with my kid a few years ago:

Kid: So, you have to work on MLK day?
Me: Yep, still on the plantation

Kid: You are silly. But I am going to a ML kegger later on so I guess I’m one to talk.

Me: YES. Just remember that his dream is the reason that you can go get drunk at an “M L KEGGER” with a bunch of white boys