(standing in the need of prayer!)

So! Are we still talking about the Grammys?
YES WE ARE.

Because DAMN. There was so much Jesus!
Madonna brought her trusty gospel choir while she cavorted around with a bunch of horny whatever those were
Pharrell pulled out a gospel choir ‘cause he’s happy that song is still relevant.
(Hint: It isn’t)
Katy Perry was singin’ bout the Grace of God
Beyonce was there so that the Precious Lord could take her hand.
Looks like everybody was sangin’ ‘bout the Lord.
‘cept Kanye. Who really needed to have Jesus walk with him to the nearest seat.
Sir. You can decide who wins the MFing awards
When you have YOUR OWN AWARD SHOW.
Beyonce has the WHOLE ENTIRE BEYHIVE to keep her ego on 100.
Worry ‘bout yourself!

ALSO: Any of y’all up on the chisme with that whole Beyonce/Ledisi thing?
I mean…listen. Yes. Beyonce has a great voice. AND she’s hugely popular.
BUT. In my probably unpopular opinion, she coulda let Ledisi gon’ and sang that song.
1. She IS ALREADY SINGING THE SONG.
2. She woulda tore the house down.
a. Have you heard her sing it?
b. Here you go!
c. GIRL. YOU BETTA SANG THAT SONG.
3. Beyonce, you’ve got plenty of exposure.
a. Go ahead and share your spotlight, boo.
b. WE GOT IT OKAY. YOU DA QUEEN BEY.
4. Still though, everything isn’t about you.

Anyways, Ledisi handled it beautifully.
“What I will say and what I’m excited about is that I had the pleasure of playing an iconic figure in Selma, and the song, ‘Take My Hand, Precious Lord,’ it’s been going on forever—starting with the queen Mahalia [Jackson], the queen of soul Aretha Franklin
“Then, I was able to portray and sing my version of the song, and now we have Beyoncé (interjection: I’m imagining side eye. Because I want there to be side eye). Her generation will now know the song, so I’m a part of history.”

I guess.

I mean…she got to play Mahalia Jackson. So I guess she still wins. Because DO YOU KNOW WHO MAHALA* JACKSON IS?
(look at me workin’ in this here black history fact!)

The Queen of Gospel. The first gospel singer to perform at New York’s Carnegie Hall.
She was also, Martin Luther (the) King Jr’s theme music. I’m kiddin’, sorta.
Ms. Jackson (‘cause I’m nasty) played an important role during the civil rights movement. In August 1956, she met Ralph Abernathy and Martin Luther King, Jr. at the National Baptist Convention.
A few months later, both King and Abernathy contacted her about coming to Montgomery, Alabama, to sing at a rally to raise money for the bus boycott. They also hoped she would inspire the people who were getting discouraged with the boycott.
And she did. In fact, Ms. Jackson appeared often with King, singing before his speeches and for SCLC fundraisers. In a 1962 SCLC press release, he wrote she had “appeared on numerous programs that helped the struggle in the South, but now she has indicated that she wants to be involved on a regular basis”. She said that she hoped her music could “break down some of the hate and fear that divide the white and black people in this country”

She also sang “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” at The Reverend Doctor King’s funeral after he was assassinated.
And when she passed on in 1972, Coretta Scott King eulogized her during the Chicago funeral as “a friend – proud, black and beautiful” with Aretha Franklin closing the Chicago rites with that very song.

So there you go. A story about the Grammys and how EVERYBODY there needs Jesus.
Especially Beyonce.
Jesus be some humility. JAYSUS.

Happy Monday!

* Not a typo! She ain’t add the “I” to her name until 1931.

Yes. I just made a Missy Elliot the subject of an e-mail. From my job.
You can blame it on the a a a a a alcohol…umm…the boogie… The Superbowl.
(I’m kiddin’ about the alcohol y’all. I haven’t drank on the job since I worked at Spencer’s Gifts. Don’t ask)
ANWAYS. Now that people who stopped checkin’ for Misdemeanor remembered the she’s a badass
She’s on the radio all the time. Which I’m sure SUPER ENTERTAINING for the people watching me car dance.

Also: Two outta Three ain’t bad right?
Got my nails done last week.
Gel nails last forever. Or around 2 weeks. Whatever comes first.

Yesterday I got my hair did. YES. DID.
Last night as a matter of fact.
JUST IN TIME FOR THE GRAMMY’S

No. I’m not going.
I am, however, gonna go to one of my favorite couple’s house and snark about it on the internet.
From her couch. While probably fighting off a twin child trying to eat food off my plate.
I think I win. I don’t even have to change out of my pajama pants.

I’ll be honest. I had totally forgotten about the Grammy’s even though they’re having a pre-Grammy concert RIGHT DOWN THE STREET (from my job. I am not getting paid well enough to live in the 90210).
But then the ladies in the shop were all up in arms about Beyonce singing Mahalia Jackson’s “Precious Lord” in a Selma tribute even though Ledisi SANG THE DAMN SONG IN THE SELMA MOVIE AS MAHALIA JACKSON. Grammy’s. I need y’all to get your sh!t together. Seriously.

SO I GUESS Y’ALL KNOW WHERE I’M GOING WITH TODAY’S BHFOTD.

LIGHTNING ROUND

DID YOU KNOW:
1. That Quincy Delight Jones, Jr. has the record for the most Grammy nominations (79)?
a. And that his middle name was DELIGHT.
b. DELIGHT.
2. That Jamie Foxx (and T-Pain) actually WON A GRAMMY for Blame It?
3. The Jackson 5 won NO Grammys. MJ won all his sh!t SOLO BOLO y’all.
a. (At least Beyonce and ‘nem won a few thangs before she kicked ‘em all to the curb and BLEW UP)
4. Michael Jackson held the record until 2000 for most Grammys won in one night (12).
a. AND He’s also been nominated for a Grammy in the last 5 decades (70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s)

Okay. I guess I’m done randomly tellin’ y’all stuff about the Grammys. Because I’ve got stuff to do. But I guess I can’t mention Missy and then not leave you a little something: Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott – The ONLY female rapper to have six albums certified platinum by the RIAA, including one double platinum for her 2002 album Under Construction. I guess a song should go here. So here it go.

Happy Friday!
See y’all Monday. Maybe I can convince my sister to get off her ass and write me a thing next week.

YOU GUYS. I am tired.
Because I decided to NOT workout yesterday morning, I decided to do a workout after work.
A few things:
1. I am a morning person.
2. I hate leaving the house after I’ve already taken off my work pants.
a. That’s a metaphor. I almost always wear dresses.
3. I HATE WORKING OUT IN THE EVENING.

ANYWAYS.
Because going to the gym is an exercise in aggravation after 5PM
And I can’t burn any calories staring angrily at people hogging machines or sighing loudly at people blocking the way chit chatting,
I decided on Zumba! Because I do hate working out at night, but this is DANCING!
And if there’s anything that people like to stereotype black people liking more’n music, it’s DANCING.

I haven’t been to a Zumba class in FOREVER.
But rest assured when I DO go, and they are randomly playing Nicki Minaj,
Of all the black people in this class, the instructor comes RIGHT UP TO ME and I end up in some sort of weird dance battle.
Because NO SENOR (sorry, no tilde), you are not getting ready to drop it lower than me.
Also be absolutely positive that my body is gonna make me pay for that later.
(oy! My hip!)

What? Onika in a Zumba class? YES.
Zumba is a mixture of hip hop, with some salsa, soca and such thrown in.
There is nothing more fun that going from La Vida es un Carnival to the Ying Yang twins.
And really the beats are easily interchanged. Probably because some of them have African roots.
Because even though people like to pretend that latinos only look like J.Lo and Shakira
Black People are EVERYWHERE.

This pretty Afro-Latina is Ursula Hilaria Celia Caridad Cruz Alfonso of Havana.

That a LOT of names. Let’s just call her Celia Cruz for short.
She first gained recognition in the 1950s, as a singer with the orchestra Sonora Matancera. She relocated to the United States after the ascent of Fidel Castro in 1961.
The social culture in New York — where she lived — was beginning to change, as a massive infusion of Latino youth entered the city.
Cruz plunged into the New York music scene, filled with musicians from across the Caribbean and Latin America.
She began a musical relationship with Tito Puente began in 1966 and lasted until 1973. Together, they recorded memorable numbers such as “Aquarius,” which brought Cruz closer to the new musical landscape that was developing in New York City during the 1960s and 70s. This new sound came to be called salsa —music born of Cuban and other Afro-Latin mixed musical traditions. By 1971, it was an important genre with a record label, Fania, devoted solely to it.

Cruz put salsa music on the map at a time when most Latinos didn’t have their own special kind of music that they could relate to their culture.
Whites had stolen and claimed rock music; blacks had soul music.
Now, thanks to Celia Cruz, Latinos had salsa music.
She not only pioneered the genre of salsa, but was one of the most popular salsa artists of the 20th century.
She is known all over the world as “The Queen of Salsa”

*AZUCAR! : When Cruz shouts, “Azucar!” it’s an allusion to the African slaves that worked on the sugar plantation in Cuba and the violent history of slavery on the island.