And we were (‘member yesterday’s fact?)…

WHY are we STILL talking about movies? Because the Oscars are a’comin, y’all! And it’s almost time for Oscar movie madness!
(new people: I’m going to spend this weekend watching every. single. movie. that is nominated for Best Picture. In my sweats. On my friend’s couch)
Relatedly, this may mean that tomorrow’s fact is a flashback fact because I’m only here for a half a day.
And half days mean I’m busier than a cat coverin’ up shit on a marble floor (that’s CRAZY BUSY)before I skate out of here.

Back to my story, though.

When I found out TCM was showing all those Oscar nominated/winning musicals for 31 days, I got all excited and started looking up movies.
What I learned was that most of my favorites were not nominated/didn’t win an Oscar*.
No Rent. No Hairspray. And no Sarafina!

Because of COURSE one of my favorite musicals is about #Resistance.
Sarafina, which was shot on location, is a musical based on the students involved in the Soweto Riots in South Africa.
:::clears throat and pushes up my glasses:::

Black South African high school students in Soweto protested against the Afrikaans Medium Decree of 1974, which forced all black schools to use Afrikaans and English in a 50–50 mix as languages of instruction. The Regional Director of Bantu Education told Circuit Inspectors and Principals of Schools that from 1 January 1975, Afrikaans had to be used for mathematics, arithmetic, and social studies from standard five (7th grade), according to the Afrikaans Medium Decree; English would be the medium of instruction for general science and practical subjects. Indigenous languages would only be used for religious instruction, music, and physical culture.

The association of Afrikaans with apartheid prompted black South Africans to prefer English. While all schools had to provide instruction in both Afrikaans and English as languages, white South African students learned other subjects in their home language. (that is SOME kinda privilege. I bet that if that privilege had a color it would be…white) The decree was resented deeply by blacks, because Afrikaans was widely viewed—in the words of Desmond Tutu, bishop of Lesotho and later Dean of Johannesburg—as “the language of the oppressor”.

The resentment grew until April 1976, when children at Orlando West Junior School in Soweto went on strike, refusing to go to school. Their rebellion then spread to many other schools in Soweto. Black South African students protested because they believed that they deserved to be treated and taught equally to white South Africans (wow, I guess nobody told the people in charge that separate but equal is BULLSHIT). Students formed an Action Committee (later known as the Soweto Students’ Representative Council), which organized a mass rally for June 16, 1976, to make themselves heard. On that morning about 10,000 black students walked from their schools to Orlando Stadium for a rally. The students began the march only to find out that police had barricaded the road along their intended route. The crowd of between 3,000 and 10,000 non-violent students made their way towards the area of the school. Students sang and waved placards with slogans such as, “Down with Afrikaans”, “Viva Azania” and “If we must do Afrikaans, Vorster must do Zulu”

The police set their dog on the protesters, who responded by killing it. The police then began to shoot directly at the children. Emergency clinics were swamped with injured and bloody children. The police requested that the hospital provide a list of all victims with bullet wounds to prosecute them for rioting. The hospital administrator passed this request to the doctors, but the doctors refused to create the list. Doctors recorded bullet wounds as abscesses. (ACCOMPLICES. Not allies. THAT’S what’s up.)

Many white South African citizens were outraged at the government’s actions in Soweto, and about 300 white students from the University of the Witwatersrand marched through Johannesburg’s city center in protest of the killing of children. Black workers went on strike as well and joined them as the campaign progressed. Riots also broke out in the black townships of other cities in South Africa.

The politicization and activism of young South Africans in Soweto and beyond galvanized the liberation movements and set in motion a series of transformations that ultimately led to the demise of apartheid. In remembrance of these events, the 16th of June is now a public holiday in South Africa, named Youth Day.
As you can see, I really enjoy uplifting, heartwarming musicals.

ANYWAYS. That’s today’s fact. I know that with all that’s CURRENTLY happening in the “wonderful” u. s. of a, this may seem like I’m saying that it turns out that all over the world, people view children (and their education) as a threat. But clearly that isn’t what I’m doing. I’m just discussing BLACK HISTORY. And the fact that police in every country are garbage human beings.

*Except Music Man. That’s scheduled for Feb. 18th. West Side Story is March 2nd.
In case you’re interested. And even if you aren’t.
(But if you aren’t, were you raised by savages? Why wouldn’t you want to watch The Music Man or West Side Story? Find you some damn culture. SHIT.)

IT IS!

Ahem.
My sister loves to sing, you guys.
LOVES. Which is nice, I guess, because she’s pretty good at it.
But also terrible because this means she makes me go to karaoke a LOT.
Less than she used to because she’s fancy and works all the time, but still.
She ain’t one to turn down karaoke night especially if Monday is a holiday.
(Her fave spot has karaoke on SUNDAY NIGHTS FFS. What kinda don’t-y’all-know-I’m-old-and-need-my-sleep-BULLSHIT is that?!)

ANYWAYS.

The fun thing about going is that my sister occasionally picks fairly random songs.
Like FAME. That song is 30 damn years old. At least.
I really think she picks it because of the Debbie Allen quote:
“You’ve got big dreams? You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying … in sweat.”
(my sissie is better than yours so extra, y’all. I dunno where she gets it)

Why am I poking at my sister and her musical selections? Because it’s what I do. (Aside from praise. Apparently that’s also what I do. No? FINE).
So, anyways, Fame was on last night! Apparently Turner Classic Movie Channel is showing Oscar movies this month! In alphabetical order*
(Thanks Momo, for providing this very important information)

ALSO: Did you know that Irene Cara (Afro-Latina) helped make history at the Academy Awards the year Fame came out? it was the first time two songs from the same film were nominated in the same category and both sung by the same artist. AND. Cara had the opportunity to be one of the few singers to perform more than one song at the Oscar ceremony.

Well now you do.

See you tomorrow folks!

*In case you’re interested, tonight’s musical is 42nd street. You’re welcome!

At band camp I had to mail Spanky a package overseas (because she likes to wait until the last minute to tell me that she needs something and “could you please mail it to me, mommy, right now immediately?) and I worked a couple blocks from this janky ass post office (really it was just a counter and one grumpy dude with a scale, a cash register, and a bin to dump mail in, but whatever. I was really grateful because getting to the post office when you work where I work is HARD TO DO because they’re mostly closed by the time I get off work, so only having to walk a block or so on my lunch was clutch) and my co-worker asked me to pick her up some stamps. 100 of them. Because apparently she still REGULARLY mails things out. She gave me $40. Which SHOULD have been enough, but apparently stamps have gone up by A LOT. So I got her as much as $40 would get her and brought back change. I got her the most ridiculous stamps that they had because if you send me to do something you should expect that I’m going to find a way to embarrass you if at all possible, ESPECIALLY since they didn’t have any black history stamps which is basically what this whole rambling e-mail is about:

On April 7, 1940, the Post Office Department (POD) issued a stamp honoring African-American educator Booker T. Washington (founder of Tuskegee Normal and Industrial Institute, now called Tuskegee University, and former dinner guest of President Theodore Roosevelt) as part of its Famous Americans Series. He was the nation’s first stamp to honor an African American.

TA DAAAA!!!! Sometimes I keep it simple. But only because I’m busy and got too much to do to be writing long ass paragraphs before I get to my point.
SOMETIMES.

But. Because I care (and I hate the post office), I would like you to know that you can NOW make your OWN stamps. Of anything you like. Mailed directly to you. ORIGINALLY, I power puffed myself and I was gonna turn THAT into my stamp because LOOK. AT. IT.

It’s so cute! It even has my kitty!

But then I remembered it’s Black History Month so I changed my mind:

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT STAMPS ARE 49 DAMN CENTS?!

But I hate the Patriots. HATE. Have ever since my time in Boston.

So, we can talk about other stuff about the Super Bowl.
Like that whole segment on HBCUs. Because WHAT?
I been watching plenty of Super Bowls since they moved it to make more money February and I don’t remember anything like this.
AND the cherry on top?
My sissie’s school (Tennessee State University) got mad love in that segment.
(For reals. I’m so glad she went to TSU)

But here’s the thing. I’ve already done some facts on some TSU Alumni.
Some non-famous ones, like this dude.
AND some famous ones like Orpah Winfrey. (NO, I didn’t misspell it, her mama did).
That one was long before I started being forced to blog them.
I been doing these for a surprisingly long time, you guys.
And every once in a while I learn something that I didn’t already know.
Okay, ALL the time. I do these facts randomly, so when I go looking I almost always find new information that I pass along to you.

EVENTUALLY.

FOR INSTANCE: Orpah is always billed as the first Black woman to have a talk show, which…NOPE*.
That person was Delloreese Early. Changed to Della Reese in the 1950’s.
(see? Finally got around to the fact)

Della Reese (born Delloreese Patricia Early – wow, that’s a mouthful. And probably what she said) is an American nightclub, jazz, gospel and pop singer, film and television actress, one-time talk-show hostess and ordained minister, whose career has spanned six decades.

Della was discovered by the gospel singer Mahalia Jackson, and her big break came when she won a contest, which gave her a week to sing at Detroit’s well-known Flame Show Bar. In 1953, she signed a recording contract with Jubilee Records, for which she recorded six albums. Later that year, she also joined the Hawkins Orchestra. In 1957, Reese released a single called “And That Reminds Me.” After years of performing, she gained chart success with this song. It became a Top Twenty Pop hit and a million-seller record. That year, Reese was voted by Billboard, Cashbox and various other magazines, as “The Most Promising Singer.” Motown singer Martha Reeves cites Reese as a major influence and says she named her group The Vandellas after Van Dyke Street in Detroit and Della Reese. (Another thing I did not know)

In 1969, she began a transition into acting work which would eventually lead to her greatest fame. Her first attempt at television stardom was a talk show series, Della, which was cancelled after 197 episodes (June 9, 1969 – March 13, 1970). Then in 1970, Reese became the first black woman to guest host The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. She appeared in several TV movies and miniseries, was a regular on Chico and the Man and played the mother of B. A. Baracus in The A-Team (TV Show, not the movie), and in 1989 she starred alongside Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor and Arsenio Hall in the movie Harlem Nights, in which she performed my favorite part of this entire movie.

After the death of one of her BFF’s (Redd Foxx), she went on to be a lead character in Touched by an Angel in 1994, the show was cancelled in 2003, but it continued re-running heavily in syndication and on The Hallmark Channel. In 2014, she retired from acting after filming for the TV Series Signed, Sealed, Delivered (Touched by an Angel spinoff) and unlike Frederick Douglass is very much alive and living her life.

And that’s how I’m starting week two of Black History Month, by being petty about a Patriots win.

But if you really need me to say something nice about the Patriots, here it is: Martellus Bennett is NOT going to celebrate his win at the White House.

(boop. Still petty)

*Orpah WAS the first Black Woman to have a nationally syndicated talk show, doe. SO. She’s still got that #1 slot. Along with first black woman to own a billion (BILLION) dollar company. Woo!

Shaddup. I am too.

Anyways.

Did I ever tell you that Nesto tried to get me to join the Marine Corps? Because recruiters love it when you do their work for them and sucker one of your friends into joining with you on some buddy plan BS(plus I’m a black woman AND I took the ASVAB and as long as I didn’t wanna touch their planes I probably coulda wrote my own ticket), only:

1. I’m hard headed and never would’ve made it¹ through boot camp. #idowhatiwant
2. I was pregnant with Adam.
3. Honestly, I’m not crazy enough to have joined the Marine Corps. Yes. They are all crazy. All.
4. IF I were go into the military, I would have chosen the Air Force.

And they woulda had to take me too, because…

On today’s date in 1981 (Nineteen hundred and eighty-one which is only 35 years ago), The Air Force Academy drops its ban on applicants with sickle cell trait.

I have no idea why this would be considered a Black History Fact. I’m sure it’s just coincidence that the sickle cell trait is most common among African Americans².

Relatedly, or maybe not: Isn’t it interesting how you can discriminate against an entire people without ever specifically mentioning them?

Like say…banning a country’s citizens without EVER mentioning that the most people from that country practice specific religion?

And just like that, we’ve gotten through the first week of Black History Month! Happy Friday! See y’all on Monday!

1. Doing what I want includes sticking random gospel songs in places you don’t expect. Jesus is everywhere, guys. Even in my BHFOTDs. But not boot camp. Boot camp is hell.
2. As agreed comic sans = sarcasm font

So we all know about Urban Dictionary, yes? For you old folks (Hi Mom! Hi Dad!), Urban dictionary is like the Merriam Webster of slang/aave (because let’s be honest and admit that most “slang” is just African American Vernacular English that has made its way to the mainstream). Did you hear those young kids talmbout something you’ve never heard before? You can probably find it there. BUT FFS, DON’T LOOK IT UP AT WORK. Because it’s probably not safe.

I’m sure you’re wondering WTH kind of lead in is THIS? WELL I’LL TELL YOU. I was crying while reading the news and I saw this article about my congresswoman: “Your Ultimate Auntie, Rep. Maxine Waters, Takes ‘Knuck if You Buck’ Stance on trump” [yes I fuckingdid lower case his name]. And I, Crime Mob enthusiast, ‘bout died. But I’m sure people all over the world were like WHUT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

USUALLY I wouldn’t EVER do a fact on this guy, because I *thought* that Frederick Douglass was one of the people that teachers teach during Black History Month. But it turns out I was wrong, so here’s a fun story about Mr. Frederick Douglass (born Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey, 1818 – 1895*) that should help you figure out what that means:

When Douglass was 12, his slave owner’s wife taught him the alphabet. The slave owner, Hugh Auld felt that literacy would encourage slaves to desire freedom (because THAT would definitely be the reason slaves wanted to be free, not yannow, SLAVERY ITSELF). The wife then came to believe that education and slavery were incompatible. Douglass continued, secretly, to teach himself how to read and write. He later often said, “knowledge is the pathway from slavery to freedom.” In later years, Douglass credited The Columbian Orator, an anthology that he discovered at about age twelve, with clarifying and defining his views on freedom and human rights. The book, first published in 1797, is a classroom reader, containing essays, speeches and dialogues, to assist students in learning reading and grammar.

When Douglass was hired out to William Freeland, he taught other slaves on the plantation to read the New Testament at a weekly Sunday school. For about six months, their study went relatively unnoticed. While Freeland remained complacent about their activities, other plantation owners became incensed about their slaves being educated. One Sunday they burst in on the gathering, armed with clubs and stones, to disperse the congregation permanently.

As punishment for teaching other slaves to read, he was sent to a “slave-breaker” at 16.He whipped Douglass regularly until finally Douglass was like, SQUARE UP, and then the THAT particular slave owner learned that you should not knuck if you are not buck. (NSFW. Also. I AIN’T SORRY) Translation: Mr. Slave Owner man got his ass handed to him and decided that violence was not the answer.

And that’s today’s story time.

Not enough? There’s also this:

“Douglass was a firm believer in the equality of all peoples, whether black, female, Native American, or recent immigrant”.
I’ma just leave that there because AGAIN, I’m just here to tell you about black HISTORY. Even when it applies to current events.
* He’s not being recognized more and more because unless we talmbout Zombie Freddie he is DEAD. DEAD. Like me, at that whole Black History “speech”

*CLEARS THROAT*

HELLO AND WELCOME TO BLACK HISTORY MONTH!
I feel like I haven’t any added anybody recently, so I don’t have to write out disclaimers, BUT in case YOU send this to somebody new this year: please be aware that these are random black history facts, based on whatever I feel like talking about. Ain’t no martin luther (the) king jr, no malcolm x and definitely no george washington carver facts (EFF nuts and peanut butter. fight me) to be found here. what you get is what I give you, when I give it to you with weekends off for being black and doing hoodrat things with my friends and family. Please to enjoy (or don’t. One monkey don’t stop no show)

How y’all been? Good?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….*coughs* that’s rhetorical. I read the news. I know how y’all doin’.

Shall we catch up on what *I* been doin’? Great!
Last year, I took my first international trip!
It was too. Mexico doesn’t count because I live in California.
Canada doesn’t count because it’s just upper america. (nah. I’m not upper casing america until it earns it)

I went to London to see my baby girl.
Although I guess I can’t really call her a baby anymore, she’s 21!
Which. Didn’t mean as much as it woulda if she’d been stateside, ‘cause the legal drinking age across the pond is 18. But it DID mean that she got to buy her mama a drink (it also meant she got carded because even though she ISN’T a baby, she still looks like one)
It was a short trip, but well worth it. Also would definitely recommend. It’s truly interesting to go somewhere and see how other people live.
Even though it was KINDA like being home, only with more accent, and much more walking.
Also, I totally recommend Virgin. I absolutely love their service. They’re always super nice, the seats are comfy and OMG so much food
(and booze, DID Y’ALL KNOW THE BOOZE WAS FREE ON INTERNATIONAL FLIGHTS?!)
In fact, the only real hiccup on this trip was when I was returning back the u.s., I got the extra pat down because I’m an american traveler.
For reals.

(though I suppose it’s better than TSA messing with my hair because I’m black)

But then, 10 hours and several movies later, I was home sweet home and Obama was still my president. I was tired y’all. I could not imagine coming back to Tom Bradley (International Airport) and finding a full blown protest happening*.

BUT THIS IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH, SO I’M NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS. I’ma talk about HISTORY. Specifically, Tom Bradley.

AHEM

*opens Wikipedia page*

Thomas J. Bradley was the first and only Black Mayor of Los Angeles, serving from 1973 – 1993, marking his the longest tenure by any mayor in the city’s history.

Tom Bradley, was the grandson of a slave in Calvert, Texas, born in 1917. The family moved to Arizona to pick cotton and then in 1924, his family moved to 1924 to the Temple-Alvarado area of LA. Tom went to (f)UCLA in 1937 on an athletic scholarship and joined Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity (y’all know I looked for a picture of him in his crimson and cream, but I do not have all day to look for one. But you know I woulda paid cash money to be able to link to a video of Tom doin’ a shoulder shimmy).

Tom left his studies in 1940 to join the LAPD. He became one of the “just 400 blacks” in the department (of 4000).

“When I came on the department, there were literally two assignments for black officers. You either worked Newton Street Division, which has a predominantly black community, or you worked traffic downtown. You could not work with a white officer, and that continued until 1964” [hmmm…I wonder what happened in 1964?]

Bradley attended Southwestern University Law School while still a police officer and began his practice as a lawyer when he retired from LAPD, specializing in international trade issues. *cough* his entry into politics came when he decided to become president of the United Club, which was part of the California Democratic Council, , a liberal, reformist group organized in the 1950s by young Democrats energized by Adlai E. Stevenson’s presidential campaigns.

In 1969, Bradley first challenged incumbent Mayor Sam Yorty, a conservative Democrat (later Republican) though the election was nonpartisan. Bradley held a substantial lead over Yorty in the primary, but was a few percentage points shy of winning the race outright. However, in the runoff, Yorty pulled an amazing come from behind victory to win reelection primarily because he played racial politics. Yorty questioned Bradley’s credibility in fighting crime and painted a picture of Bradley, his fellow Democrat, as a threat to Los Angeles because he would supposedly open up the city to feared Black Nationalists. Bradley did not use his record as a police officer in the election. But her emails, with the racial factor, even many liberal white voters became hesitant to support Bradley.

With the passage of the 1974 redevelopment plan and the inclusion of business leaders on in influential committees, Bradley received support from downtown businesses. Bradley helped contribute to the financial success of the city by helping develop the satellite business hubs at Century City and Warner Center. Bradley was a driving force behind the construction of Los Angeles’ light rail network. He also pushed for expansion of Los Angeles International Airport and development of the terminals which are in use today. The Tom Bradley International Terminal is named in his honor.He went on to serve for twenty years as mayor of Los Angeles, surpassing Fletcher Bowron with the longest tenure in that office.

Bradley ALSO ran for Governor of California twice, in 1982 and 1986, but lost both times to Republican George Deukmejian. He was the first African American to head a gubernatorial ticket in California. In 1982, the election was extremely close. Bradley led in the polls going into Election Day, and in the initial hours after the polls closed, some news organizations projected him as the winner. Ultimately, Bradley lost the election by about 100,000 votes. These circumstances gave rise to the term the “Bradley effect” which refers to a tendency of voters to tell interviewers or pollsters that they are undecided or likely to vote for a black candidate, but then actually vote for his white opponent. [I’m sensing some sort of parallel, but I just can’t…reach it. Maybe if I was a little bit taller, y’all. Nope. Not sorry.]
*closes Wikipedia page*

And with that, is the end of today’s Black History fact. They’re not always this long, but when they are I definitely say “that’s what she said”. See you tomorrow for tomorrow’s fact about black people who did stuff that you probably didn’t know about because they save all the (same) black people for February like black folks aren’t doing stuff the rest of the year!
*But if I did, I’d probably join the protest, because I firmly believe that protests need to disrupt to get your attention, otherwise you’d just ignore it and go on with your lives.

Occasionally I am incapable of keeping my smart ass comments to myself.
Heh. OCCASIONALLY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough*
ANYWAYS. One day my co-worker took exception:
CW: You know you’re too pretty to be such a jerk.
:::spins around in my chair to respond:::
Me: Not true! I’m pretty, and can therefore get away with being an arsehole if I want.
(For now I’m gonna ignore that this entire conversation is sexist and stupid because really?)
CW: Do your friends think you’re an arsehole?
Me: Yes.
CW: …
Me: Birds of a feather and all that.
CW: Do they know you think they’re arseholes?
Me: Yes. Because they’re MY friends
CW: ….
Me: *blinks*
CW: ….walks off grumbling that I’m cocky

What is the moral of this story and WHAT does this have to do with the today’s email?
Well. The MORAL of this story is that PEOPLE DON’T LIKE IT WHEN YOU’RE CONFIDENT.
YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU’RE THE BUSINESS*
*when you are black
**No. The co-worker was not black because if he was he woulda aborted the mission when I spun around in my chair to address this conversation.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE REASON I’M SENDING E-MAILS?
Well. IT’S FEBRUARY FIRST/ BLACK HISTORY MONTH/ THE MONTH WHEN WE CAN BRAG ON US WHILE OTHERS SILENTLY SEETHE BECAUSE WHERE IS THEIR SPECIAL MONTH?
Hint: It’s all the other months. It’s the history books. It’s the Oscars. It’s…you know what?

And so today is fact number

Woo! See What I did there?

That there is Mr. Cameron Jerrell Newton.

First things first: Newton is the only player in the modern era to, within a one-year span, be awarded the Heisman Trophy, win a national championship, and become the first overall pick in an NFL draft.
In his rookie year, Newton broke numerous rookie and all-time NFL records for passing and rushing yards. He became the first rookie quarterback to throw for 400 yards in his first game, shattering Peyton Manning’s first-game record by 120 yards.
(Do y’all think Peyton’s still salty? I guess we’ll find out Sunday won’t we?)
He also broke Otto Graham’s 61-year-old record for passing yards by any quarterback in an NFL debut. Newton would go on to become the first rookie quarterback to throw for 4,000 yards in a season, as well as the first rookie quarterback to rush for 700 yards.
He also ran for 14 touchdowns, more in a single season than any quarterback in NFL history, breaking Steve Grogan’s 35-year-old record.
In 2015, Newton became the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 30 touchdowns and rush for 10 in the same season (35 passing, 10 rushing).
He also became the only quarterback ever to have 300 yards passing, 5 touchdown passes, and over 100 yards rushing in the same game.
In the final game of the 2015–16 season Newton tied Steve Young’s record for the most career rushing touchdowns by a quarterback—a record that Young set after 15 seasons in the NFL, compared to Newton’s five.
It should be noted that these facts are not just BLACK HISTORY. THIS IS JUST HISTORY.

THIS, BOYS AND GIRLS, IS BLACK EXCELLENCE.

And boy OH BOY does the media hate him for being so fly.
And black. ‘Cause boy is he ever.
There have been think pieces galore about his cockiness on the field.
And his antics off.
And guess who has two thumbs and DGAF?

That’s right Cam. Go on that field and GO AWF. DAB ON ‘EM.

Hallo! For you new suckers folks, WELCOME TO COOL SHIT BLACK PEOPLE BE DOIN’ THAT I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT. I don’t know how you got on this list (maybe you asked nicely, maybe I just added you ‘cause I felt like it), but here you are!
Not sorry about the foolishness that goes along with e-mails from me. And maybe Nisha. Hey, Nisha are you gonna be writing some facts this month too, or are you leavin’ me ALLLLL BYYYY MYY SE-EEEH-ELFFFFF?
Please to be enjoying February/Black History Month/ If we’re gonna give you a month to talk about Black History we will give you the shortest month of the year even with the extra day we get for Leap Year

And do you know what summer time means? Bikinis. And Beaches. And Pools. (Oh my!)
Usually me and the girls make a trip to Palm Springs in the summer.
Because nothing says “IT’S HOT” like Palm Springs in the summer time.
We love it!
We spend our time day drinking and playing in the pool.
I know.
You don’t know what’s harder to believe:
That I day drink or that a black girl got in the pool and got her hair wet.
(Definitely that I got my hair wet)
ANYWAYS.
Good times are always had by all. I think.
I don’t always remember.
Except that one time we were all in the pool and they cleared everyone out because of a CODE BROWN
Which was definitely not awesome.
I’m pretty sure I’ll never forget that because WHO THE FUCK doesn’t get out of the pool to POOP?
I mean, I feel like I’m dealing with a certain amount of pee (because people are gross, and lazy, and YOU AREN’T GOING TO MISS ANYTHING BY GOING TO PEE, FFS)
And this is why pools are so heavily chlorinated.
But really?
EWWW. TO ALL OF IT.
I can’t remember if the pool was closed for the day after that (see: day drinking)
But I know that *I* was done swimming for the day.

What does this have to do with anything? I bet you’re thinking that I’m gonna talk about current events, don’t you?
Well you’re wrong* because this is a black HISTORY fact. As in, in the past.
Like in the past, black people weren’t even allowed to swim in a pool with white folks.
As in, on this day in 1964, James “Jimmy” E. Brock wouldn’t allow Martin Luther (the) King, Jr and others to eat at the Monson (Motor Lodge) restaurant.
And on June 18th they planned a “swim-in” (I see what they did there) where black and white protesters jumped into the whites-only pool
And in protest to THEIR protest, Jimmy Brock poured muriatic acid (which is generally used to clean the pool’s tiles) into the pool hoping the swimmers would get scared and leave.

They didn’t. Police were called, people were arrested.
And this guy will forever remembered as the asshole on the wrong side of history.

So I don’t have to draw any similarities to what happened in 1964 to what happened in McKinney, Texas because
a) These kids weren’t protesting at all. They were INVITED TO A POOL PARTY. AND.
b) Segregation has been illegal since 1954. OR SO I HEARD.
I mean, YEAH. The police were called because of a code brown (people in the pool and yes we are “tolerant” and “love all people” and we “have black friends” but where the holy hell did all THESE black folks come from? This is too many!)
BUT. NOBODY GOT ARRESTED (not even the woman who was attacking a child and using racial slurs).
(note: Damn, people ain’t playin’ around when it comes to getting racists fired from their jobs. Good job, Internet!)
And OKAY, (EX) Police Office Eric Casebolt will ALSO be remembered as the asshole on the wrong side of history.

BUT STILL.

COMPLETELY the same because even though FIFTY-ONE FUCKING YEARS have passed, apparently black kids in a pool is just as upsetting to some white folks in 2015 as it was in 1964 DIFFERENT.

*wrong. As in OF COURSE I AM.

Heyo!
So I…totally got distracted yesterday.
‘Cause yannow. WORK. I have a pretty awesome job.
But they do NOT care about black people my duties as BHFOTD AMBASSADOR.
I’m kidding, of course.
They do. They make each and every one of us come to work so they can have a Black History Presentation on MLK, Jr. Day.
That I never go to. Because if you want ME to celebrate being black, give me the day off. I’m just sayin’.

ANYWAYS.
As usual, yesterday’s post woulda been about the Academy Awards. Because OF COURSE IT WOULD.
After all, I watched. In fact, as usual, I watched every single movie in the Oscar nominated Best Picture category.
I liked them ALL. Except American Sniper.
Generally I like war movies. Blame it on the fact that I am a military wife.
Even the ones that turn me in to a sobbing mess because they are too close to my life.
(See: Hurt Locker. Never forget that I had a meltdown so bad that I almost had to leave the theatre)
(Sorry again, Dani. lol)
When they’re made well. This one…wasn’t. I’ma leave it at that.

I loved all the other ones, though. I didn’t even hate Boyhood. I did hate that it was LONG. SOFA KING LONG.
Two hours and 46 minutes.
And lemme tell y’all. That’s a long time for me to sit (reasonably) still. Luckily, there was chips and guac. And vodka.
I got through it. Which is more than I can say for Gone with the Wind.
Y’all. That movie is almost 4 hours long.
FOUR.
I tapped out. I tried. I really did.
Because I’ve never seen it AND since I was gonna talk about Hattie McDonald, first black person to win an Oscar,
I thought maybe I should. But I couldn’t. Because it was fours long.
I got up to around the halfway mark.

A few things:
In this movie, these people went to a party so long that all the women retired upstairs for a nap.
Like..wow. Y’all really doing the most. A nap. So you can day drink AND night drink. TURN UP!

ALLLLL this time, I thought it was Hattie’s character that said “I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies!”
That was not her. That was Prissy (Butterfly McQueen)Huh.

The more you know.

ALSO. You can file these things under THINGS I DID NOT KNOW (about Hattie McDonald):
She appeared in over 300 movies, but only got credit for about 80-ish.
She was the first black woman to sing on the radio in the US.
She has TWO stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. TWO! (Radio/Motion Pictures)
AND. She was the first Black Oscar winner honored with a postage stamp.

Hattie accepting her award
I don’t know if I forgot or just never knew that she sat separately from the rest of the cast of Gone With The Wind.
But, WOW.

Now everyone sits all together at the Oscars, and they’ll have a diverse cast of presenters, and not once single person of color nominated in any of the acting categories.
In fact, the only Oscar given to black person/people was given for Best Original Song.

I’m not even gonna say it. ‘Cause I don’t have to. But you know what I’m thinking. And I guess so were the Oscars.